Dear Paradoxy,

I would like to separate our debate about women in the modern society (which I will address too), from the fact that you have suffered emotional abuse and neglect by your parents, regardless of whether they did it on purpose or not. Of course, they didn’t do it on purpose – they did what they thought was right. But nevertheless, it still caused severe emotional harm to you. And this harm needs to be addressed and healed – if you want to have a fulfilling life and a healthy relationship/marriage.

You’ve opened up and shared your pain and your vulnerability on this thread, and I appreciate it, and would like to help you. You did indeed suffer from B’s poor treatment, as well as from your parents’ poor treatment. And a part of you knows it. You’ve shared about it extensively.

But there is this other part, which got stronger in recent posts, where you minimize the pain you’ve suffered and seek to find excuses to basically stay within the confines of your parents’ worldview. You said:

The only reason my parents shut down my feelings is because they cannot comprehend my feelings. They cannot comprehend the pain that a suicidal person is going through.

If they cannot comprehend feelings, it doesn’t mean they need to crush the person who is having those feelings (you). They could have (and should have) taken you to a psychologist after you suicide attempt. But instead, your mother told you you’ve caused them humiliation, while your father said that suicidal people are idiots:

He is the type of person that constantly tells me that suicidal people are idiots and etc.

This attitude is more than ignorance. It is called wilful ignorance: when someone has the capacity to understand, and has access to relevant information, but they don’t want to. You say your father is highly educated, and yet he was capable of (ignorantly ) claiming that suicidal people are idiots.

I would like to communicate with the part of you who sees how damaging this was, and who stops making excuses. You don’t have to hate your parents, I am not saying that, but just stop making excuses for them. And start focusing on healing the pain they’ve caused you, rather than finding “proofs” that how they did things was actually right.