Dear Tee,

Yes Tee, I understand, there is nothing wrong about your harshness. I was just afraid to face reality.

I don’t exactly understand what you are trying to say about the man in the photo issue. I don’t see where you could have assumed that she slept with the ex. I will reclarify everything from that event:

After a week of dating, on a Friday, B told me that she still had feelings for ex and was having trouble deciding between me and her ex. She asked me what I would do so I told her that I would not date either person because it would be better to not date at all than have a relationship with someone while still holding feelings for the other. She agreed and we broke up, but we got back together cause she said she “chose me”. Several weeks later, I found a picture/video on her snap with her in a towel with a man removing her braids. I didn’t say anything at first but when I saw that she deleted the video, I confronted her and she said it was one of her exes, the one who she still had feelings for. She did not imply anything about sleeping with the man. I am the one saying that she COULD HAVE slept with him, and she could just be lying to me by not giving the details of what happened on that day, cause she was naked with only a towel wrapped around her. Everyone has hormones and if she was sexually stimulated enough by her ex, she COULD HAVE slept with him. Due to that fear of being lied to, I broke up with her, but took her back the next day.

Couple more weeks later, I had the fight with her housemate, and I found out that he is one of her exes. His face looked familiar, so I asked B whether this guy was the same ex who was removing her braids. She told me it was not him. Every few weeks, I would ask her again if her housemate was the ex that she took the towel video in, and she would keep denying it, but his face was too familiar for me to just let go. Then this year January came and she confessed what happened last year January. And this prompted me to ask her again, whether the man in her video, was actually the ex that was living with her. She finally told the truth and admitted it was him.

Then recently, I asked her what happened on that day and she told me that her female housemate was removing her braids but had to do something, and so the female housemate asked her brother (B’s ex) to finish removing the braids for her, and that is when she took the video. So her explanation from the time I found the video had no implication that she slept with the guy. So both stories align, so there is no evidence that she lied.

I don’t remember recalling events more favorable to her. I am considering all the factors that are playing in the situation.

My stupid self was too much in love to see reality then. I wish I could have gone back to the video and rewatched it before she deleted it.

We do have a counselor here but that is the last thing I want right now. The only place where I get to rant is here. Besides, I have priorities. I find comfort in making music now as it is what I wanted to do more than med, and I find that good enough for now.

I can’t even confide in the close friend of mine because everyone is human, I can’t just rant to him like that. He most likely wouldn’t want to support me in that manner. That is why I said I have no friends. He is literally all I got and I am pretty sure he is tired of my drama cause I tell him most of the time whenever B and I break up only to get back together.

I am just disappointed that everyone was right about her. I believed she would be the exception to the stereotype everyone (not my parents) kept describing.

I will probably come back here several months or years from now, ranting about why I am still single 😂😂. I hope to talk to you again. If you have more things to say, might as well finish it off in this thread because you never know when we might talk again. Thank you for all the advice and support you have given me.

Paradoxy