Dear Tee,

“Well, when you say that your parents did everything right (except some minor stuff), it tells me you don’t really understand how badly they’ve harmed you” The key phrase is “everything right, except”.

“But after all of that, you claim they did everything right?” THE KEY WORD IS “EXCEPT”. I was obviously speaking in general. I know that emotional and mental health is very large and important area of life, but I am saying that except that VERY LARGE AND IMPORTANT AREA, they did everything else right.

“What did they do right? If they harmed a budding human spirit to the point of you wanting to obliterate your existence? What is right in not harming your body if they crushed your soul?” You are basically agreeing with me. You are responding as if I did not admit that they failed in the emotional and mental health area. You are responding as if I am going back to them and loving them and allowing myself to be hurt by their abuse. I literally said I hate them and I am never going to forget what they did. So why are you responding as if you are not reading?

“It seems to me that their intention was to raise a slave, whom they will own and command what to do. Their intention was not to raise a free-thinking individual, who will be in charge of their own happiness.” To you, maybe. But this is how most of us grew up, and this is normal for us. No matter how cruel u think this may be, this is normal for us, as shown by the neurosurgeon I mentioned earlier, which is why I am able to understand that my parents had good intentions even though their actions are stupid and cruel. Because the lifestyle that you grew up with is different from ours, you will see it as their intention to raise a slave, even though their real intention/ultimate goal was good.

“If you forgive someone, you cannot hate them.” Let me rephrase it for you to understand better. By forgive, I meant that I understand their intentions, but I will forever hate them for what they have done. I will always remember the things they have done. I will have their cruel words etched into my heart. But I am aware of their ultimate goal and I understand that they meant only good for me. There are multiple paths to achieve the same good result. However, my parents chose the cruel and painful path to push me through. I hate them for driving me down this path, but I understand their ultimate goal. That is the difference you fail to recognize.

“It’s okay to forgive your parents, but before you do that, you would need to acknowledge how they have actually harmed you, and what emotional needs they’ve failed to meet.” Are you not reading? I literally just expressed that I acknowledge how they harmed me and the emotional needs that they have failed to meet. And for that, I will hate them for life. But I will still carry out my duties as their son. It is a DUTY, it is not based on whether they DESERVE it or not. I UNDERSTAND their motive, but I will hate them for what they have done.

“Telling you that you are a pig and will forever stay a pig is quite a horrible treatment.” Turns out he was right. I told my guy friend what my dad said and he pointed out that technically I am still a pig cause I am still talking to B despite everything she did, cause she is the mud that I should be staying away from.

“And another goal is to protect yourself from your parents’ abuse and toxicity (which they are still practicing today).” I already have myself protected. I laugh when they say the things they say, to the point they get pissed at how I am laughing every time they try to hurt me. They cannot hurt me anymore, so don’t misunderstand.

You are misreading/misunderstanding the things I am saying and latching on to the wrong points here, to the extent that you don’t even realize that you are essentially agreeing with me.

Paradoxy