Thanks for sharing you thoughts Anita!

Hi Helcat

I’m not sure I have any advice about acceptance. I’m a head guy and for the longest time I have approached the acceptance by trying to think my way through. If I could just identify all the variables, get them sorted, then maybe I would understand and understanding accept. (I was going to say that didn’t work, but realizing that was a dead end and the frustration that lead to was something I needed to experience)

I struggled between the notions of acceptance and resignation. Acceptance more often then not felt like resignation, giving up, leading to a slide into indifference, and indifference to depression.

“Our minds are trained to accept and conform, shaping our thought according to….. We need a great deal of energy to bring about a change within ourselves, but we waste our energy through conflict, through resistance, through conformity, through acceptance, through obedience… ” – Krishnamurti

First time I read that I was taken aback. In what ways are we trained in acceptance? Is acceptance a something the mind requires to be comfortable? Is it a waist of energy seeking acceptance? By acceptance are we really looking for belonging?  To many questions, my head self is elated. 🙂
I concede that acceptance and the desire to be accepted are entangled and influenced by others more so then my own experience… Avoiding what I sense is a trap I move on.

I’ve mentioned before the idea that the question behind the hero’s journey is ‘How to respond to Life as it is’  which concerns the notion of acceptance. The Hero that completes the task comes when he can answer with a YES. A Yes  that is acceptance of Life as it is, its wonder and horror while remaining fully engaged. Put another way a ‘detachment’ that remains fully engaged. Acting because its it authentic to ones truth regardless of results.   (This is the interplay of the temporal and eternal. The engagement is in the temporal, the Yes in the eternal experience. )

In practice ( I guess this is advice)…. through out the day I will ask myself ‘how am I responding to Life in this moment’. The answer is surprising easy to discern. When I’m feeling anxious, angry, worried, frustrated the answer is pointing to a No. In other words I do not want to accept the moment as it is. The No usually coming from the ego wanting to be in charge and change things ….

To be honest I spend most of my day in a No frame of experience  but I don’t beat myself up over it (or pat myself on the back in those moments when the answer is Yes).   Its weird but the asking of the question is often enough to create the space for stillness. ‘Oh I’m playing that game again, trying to change the present by changing the past’ 🙂 no wonder I’m anxious. 🙂

The challenge is that a No seems easier to engage with. You get all that energy by resisting and that can be fun if were being honest with ourselves. A Yes on the other hand is more subtle – fully engaged in the moment while being ‘detached’ from the results.  If I can’t measure a ‘win’ what fun is that?

As you said “learning to accept and be on board with my choices” The Yes and acceptance is about the engagement not the measurement of the results. Does that make sense?

Its a change of perspective, a experience of the eternal perspective – the sun neither rises or sets, it is, you are. YES?