Continued:

I am experiencing Less Fear, less Anxiety and enough Healing to feel, to subjectively experience mental health. To actually understand it, not from the rational level, but from the emotional level: to understand this novel idea that I am of no less value than anyone else. That’s an amazing emotional understanding for me, very new. I always thought/ felt/ believed that I was less than every one else, way less. It was a horrible way to go through life. It wasn’t really living, it was surviving as an inferior specimen.

How strange. Today, for the first time in my life, I can see myself a mother, and teaching him/ her well. Too old for that, but I can see it now, I can see myself a mother.

I felt today, for the first time in my life, no fear about making waves in real-life, expressing my discontent, for someone hearing my discontent, my complaint.. not afraid to cause things to happen, to affect events.

Me: having a say irl, expressing and feeling empathy for myself. I feel.. equal and healthy, and it is an amazing feeling!

anita