Dear Clara:

You are welcome and a delight to read your most recent post.

“I said I wanted to compromise that we can contact each other if anything happens… I asked for specific date when we will talk about how we should move forward, we made a date in the end of July“- congratulations on doing an excellent job communicating with her clearly, honestly and assertively!

“she responded quite quickly… to which she agreed immediately“- this is encouraging, she cares about you.

“I confirmed that we are on a break but not broken up, and I confirmed the definition, which means we are still exclusive to each other and we are not dating anyone else… Overall, I think this has settled my mind better, to have a confirmation and direction of where she is heading to, instead of just imagining“- you are ripping the benefits of real-life clear, honest and assertive communication vs imagining and ruminating.

“I shared with her I did a lot of soul searching… as my homework to prepare for the relationship“- you are welcome to use your thread as one place to do this homework.

I sill think that looking into your anxious attachment style can be helpful to you. There are books on the topic such as How to Heal an Anxious Attachment Style, Healing Your Anxious Attachment Style, and Anxious Attachment Recovery.

Here is a quotes from the latter: “Anxious attachment turns love into a battlefield. It is a space where insecurities wage war against the self, where the soul is torn between the innate human need for connection and the paralyzing fear of rejection and abandonment. It is a dance of opposites, where love is both sought and feared, where connection is both craved and resisted”. Does this reads like something you can relate to?

anita