Hi Clara

You did amazingly well thinking about your partners needs to help you stop catastrophising. Hiding the social media, so that your feelings are not triggered was a good idea.

You are 100% right, the only thing that we can control in life is our own actions. Your mind is attached to fear of the unknown, loss of control. But the truth is that control is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. It is simply a false idea of safety that we cling to sometimes.

I found that meditation was helpful in practicing letting things go.

Catastrophising also is rooted in the belief that you need to prepare to be okay with something bad happening. But it also means that you stress and worry frequently before something bad even happens.

Hypothetically, something bad might not happen and you could have spent all of this time worrying for nothing. The alternative is that you could break up, and it is likely going to be just as painful, but you spend extra time being in pain. Learning to be open to waiting to see what will happen next is hard work, but it prevents a lot of unnecessary pain.

I’m sorry that you had a bad dream. I think you are doing a really good job of honouring your feelings as they arise. Letting them pass through. Try to take extra special care of yourself in this difficult time, especially when you are suffering. You don’t deserve to suffer.

There is a process called reparenting that might be helpful to you to help manage your feelings that occur from childhood. The idea is that you take care of yourself, how a loving parent would. It helps to remember yourself you were when you were a child. When a young Clara is upset, what does she need? You didn’t get everything you needed as a child, but you can give it to yourself now.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏