Dear Klast:

Thank you for the no-rush note!  Iconoclast: a person who attacks cherished beliefs or institutions. I see why you chose (the short version of) this word.

“I grew up going to a Christian church…  It was one of those churches that abused me in unspeakable ways, that I fortunately don’t remember“- I am sorry to read that you were abused, and in unspeakable ways.

About re-associating with your anger and re-personalizing your life, you wrote: “I guess so. I am a bit concerned about going through all this with the current state of my brain“- good point, something to ask a competent professional, if you are interested. In general, any kind of re-associating/ re-personalizing work should be done very gently, a bit today, a bit tomorrow, noting rushed.

“I have recently been diagnosed with Complex PTSD , after all the traumas throughout my life. Seems like I am regularly getting diagnosed with something, every decade or so“- (1) C-PTSD is an umbrella diagnosis. Last I read, in the U.S. (DSM-5) it was rejected as a diagnosis because it’d make many previously accepted diagnoses obsolete, (2) There are so many mental health diagnoses available, no wonder most- if not all people- fit at least one. I was diagnosed with quite a few.

“I used to have bad panic attacks, but I learnt to down regulate them with diaphragmatic breathing… Back then the docs said I had the lungs of someone 11 years younger, now it’s only 5 years younger“- excellent job down regulating panic attacks, inspirational!

“When I met my wife 20 years ago. I had a strong sense of us having a long term relationship. Within 3 months of me moving in, her kids wanted to call me Dad. She’s a trauma child/woman like me, we feel we are on a committed life journey of healing together.“-  again: inspirational!

anita