Dear Lais:

Reading your post and article this morning felt as if you had seen my recent posts in the forums and decided to write this just for me. Shadow work is something I was introduced to only recently, and I am actively integrating those parts of myself instead of suppressing them.

I took my time reading your article—it’s beautifully written! A few lines stood out as especially powerful:

“I spent years treating my emotions as something to get rid of. But healing isn’t about eliminating pain; it’s about becoming intimate with it… The more I embraced my pain, the less power it held over me… Whatever we suppress doesn’t disappear. It just works against us… Our triggers are messengers. They reveal wounds that are still waiting to be healed and integrated… Sitting with reactions instead of judging them opens the door to healing… Integrating the shadow is reclaiming the full spectrum of who we are… Healing isn’t about becoming perfect; it’s about becoming whole… So, the next time shadows appear, instead of running from them, try sitting with them. Instead of fighting fears, try listening to what they have to teach. Instead of rejecting the parts that feel unworthy, try offering them love.”

Your words resonated deeply, and I wanted to reflect on the questions you posed:

“Have you ever doubted your path because healing felt undone or cyclical?”- Many times. But in the last few years, commitment to healing brought clarity—healing isn’t a single event or a straightforward path. It unfolds in cycles, revealing new layers over time.

“How do you navigate those moments when your own pain resurfaces while holding space for others?”- Holding space for others in the forums gave me a welcomed break from focusing on my own emotions. It is always easier to speak about someone else’s struggles rather than face my own, especially the shadow emotions. The healing I experienced through conversations with hundreds of members over nearly a decade unfolded mostly indirectly, through their journeys. Now, I am ready to turn inward, create space for myself, and fully embrace direct healing.

“What has helped you reclaim wholeness—not just the polished parts, but the tender, wild, aching bits too?”- I am engaging with this process even now. As I read your article and post this morning, an old, old feeling resurfaced—that familiar sense of inferiority, as if your excellent writing and published works diminish my own writing and lack of publications. In the past, I wouldn’t have acknowledged this feeling. It would have been buried under layers of shame—shame for even feeling inferior in the first place.

But now, I see it differently. Feeling inferior or ashamed is nothing to be ashamed of. No emotion deserves rejection. Even the thought behind the feeling—the belief that I am somehow ‘less than’—does not deserve shame either.

And in this moment, I am embracing a new, non-judgmental approach to my emotions and thoughts. I like it! I know it will serve me well.

Thank you so much for creating space for this reflection 💛

anita