I have negative automatic thoughts as a result of my trauma.

The way that I think about it, it is a form of self-bullying.

Like my mother used to say. Nobody even likes you. They are just pretending to be your friend.

Overthinking and sensitivity to perceived rejection. I say perceived because it is often not true. Just as it wasn’t true when my mother said it.

I’m exploring other ways to think about it. Trying to develop mental flexibility.

Now that I’m feeling calm it is easy to trust and understand that the thoughts are not true. In the moment, they feel painfully real.

I’ve learned that not everything I feel is true, or needs to be acted upon. I just need to be gentle with myself and allow the feelings to pass.

The world is not easy and neither is communication. An imperfect form of expression. We often hide how we feel out of fear of rejection, or only share a small part of how we feel.

A lot of people are stressed by expressions of emotion and feel rejected when the people they care about share their pain.

It is not easy, having a part of oneself that criticises ourselves. A memory of all of the people who shared similar feelings.

Life is not always pretty or perfect. Life is often complicated, challenging, tiring. Stress brings the worst out of people.

It is much easier when someone we don’t have a connection with says something negative. Much harder when someone we care about expresses something negative. Funny how caring can take things out of proportion. Not everything has to be taken so seriously.