Yes i do that with negative emotions only, until now that i do it with loving emotions too, i figure, wow. My mind is indeed looping constantly 24/7 because i feel that if i don’t do that, i will “forget” about her and move on, weird paradox huh?
But some days i feel like i question even that. So what emotion overwhelmed me and threw the anhedonia upon me?

I relate with fearful avoidant (disorganized attachment) in many videos and cases i’ve read but my mind doubts even that sometimes haha
But i dont know how i dont believe love is stable/safe, since i was living it for almost a year before this happened? (could the convo have triggered it?)

How do i feel the love only? haha.. I remember Paulien Timmer was saying in one of her videos that FAs shutdown one feeling but because u cant suppress only one, u shutdown everything, damn..

Today i was texting with her and in the beginning i was like “why am i even talking to her? i am forcing it” and after a while she asked me about something that i was searching for (she didnt know anything on this topic) and her question/interest seemed so “innocent” and adorable to me that i cried spontaneously and i said in my mind “my sweet baby”. Then gone haha, this is all so weird.. i was also telling the therapist that i was probably waiting for love/relationship to fill my void that pre-existed, so now that the dopamine wore off, it got exposed..I told her that i fear if i find meaning in my life, i don’t want her or anyone by my side then. Maybe it’s all in my mind, a theory though..

Yeah gemini also remembers, they are good AIs 🙂

Haha i dont know if u can do my own emotional work