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Confused and in need of some opinion

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  • April 14, 2014 at 3:16 am #54743
    LRED
    Participant

    Hi Everyone ,

    My ex-partner of two and half years decided to leave the relationship end of last year . we almost bought a house , talked about getting married , kids and all . Fast forward things got sour as most break ups would, he wouldn’t leave me alone nor give me space until i lost it feb this year and told him to bugger off . After 30 days of NC i felt much better and started to feel a lot calmer and finally felt content with my life , keeping my self busy with gym , work and social life. Anyhow about 3 weeks ago i finally replied to his last email thanking him for everything and wished him good luck. About a week ago he sent me an sms asking how our pets are doing and threw a little sook when i didnt reply . So i replied and we exchanged numerous texts through the day , he asked alot about me and our pets . The biggest shock i had for the day ..i was on my way to work and he came up to my train stop ( he said he got off 4 stops earlier than where he was suppose to be going because he saw me and thought he would say hi *???????????* ) .We had a lovely loooong chat ..lots of laughter and giggles . He brought up a lot of personal jokes that was once shared between us that no one else knows and again lots of questions in regards to my life etc. We have been exchaging texts every couple of days but it seems after the day he saw me , we would have a conversation through text then he just would stopped replying out of no where then initiates contact again after a day or two. All these time it has always been him that initiates all the texts.

    I know im not over him and i still love him very much despite all that’s happened but i am moving on with my life and doing the things that i enjoy and love. I dont feel anger or resentment towards him and i dont feel that “need him to complete my identity” that i use to have when we first broke up. He is confusing the hell out of me right now and i cant make sense of the situation at all.

    please help..

    April 14, 2014 at 4:25 am #54747
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hi – @trufle

    Let him go. You will thank your stars in a few months for doing that.

    Lots of positive energy,

    Jasmine

    April 14, 2014 at 9:11 am #54753
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I suggest wait for a week more and then ask him point blank why he has resumed contact after all this time.

    He seems to be interested in getting back with you or atleast resume the friendship. If it is definitely the former, then you must think about why you exactly broke up in the first place- were there any fundamental incompatibilities, were you/him really unfulfilled in the relationship etc etc Think about how it affected your lives and whether you are ready to have a relationship again right now.

    I know how hard it is to let go of someone you loved so much and still do, but we need to look at things from a wider perspective as well. Ultimately its your choice and it will have consequences. Do you want to be with a person who cant seem to give you space to think? He’s got some growing up to do, it seems. Boundaries are hard but are you prepared to go through the past routes again? Ask yourself this.

    If its friendship, then make sure he really does want to remain friends with you. If that makes you uncomfortable, then get closure and move on.

    Make things very very clear to him either way.

    May 17, 2014 at 8:19 am #56442
    LRED
    Participant

    Thank you for your inputs.

    Moongal i wholeheartedly agree with you . Since my last post..we are still talking frequently and again its always him that initiates all the contacts.im currently travelling for the month (he doesnt know and doesnt need to know ) but he did come over to spend time with our pets the weekend before i left.i didnt reply to his last message for a few days and he freaked out , got worried because he didnt hear back :/

    I dont see us working again unless changes are made and alot of hard work…oh and alot of growing up on his part 🙂

    May 17, 2014 at 8:24 am #56443
    LRED
    Participant

    Also i should mention that he is or was (last time i heard from the horses mouth he is …)seeing some one ..i dont ask about it and when we talk ..no mention of it what so ever.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by LRED.
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