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Hi Michael B
Thanks for your post.
You sound like a highly evolved soul from your post. I hope I can provide a different insight that may resonate with your inner being.
– people do not suddenly get panic attacks. Something major has happened in your life within 6 to 12 months prior to your first panic attack, which has left your system in disbelief or in a state of shock. Until you resolve that issue, you will find it hard to fully embrace life for what it is worth despite practicing mindfulness. Sometimes accessing EFT therapy, energy healing, hypnotherapy etc can help with understanding the cause of the attacks. If you dont believe in these, then I recommend finding a spiritual teacher who can assist in your personal growth.
– Many people look at anti-anxiety medications as taboo but they are not as bad as they are portrayed to be. When we go through a stressful period in life, our brain releases all sorts of chemicals, which can lead to chemical imbalance in our bodies. The anti- anxiety meds help to counteract that while we learn newer and healthier ways of coping with stress , anxiety or any unhelpful emotion. I agree that these meds do not cure the underlying emotional or mental problem but it aids in getting the balance right, which is impt for our optimal functioning. Concentration is one aspect.
– Anxiety can be provoked when something feels overwhelming or out of control or when there is a huge expectation attached to an outcome and there is no scope for failure. From my experience, there are no failures or mistakes in this world. We are all doing our best according to our capacities. Some do better than others, which is fine with me. According to my experience so far, each potential “failure” or “mistake” provides us with an opportunity for self growth, which is the ultimate reason for our existence. We are here to find out what makes us tick and how we can use that learning to bring more light into our and other peoples lives.
– Now, coming back to your 100 pages of notes that you need to get through for tomo: look, be kind to yourself, my dear friend. We have not been created to cram through so many pages in one night. Try and read 20 pages and be happy with that. The lesson for future is to break down everything into manageable chunks. No one can eat an elephant in one piece. However, if you cut it into small pieces, everything becomes manageable and tasty for some ;). When you know that things are getting a little more overwhelming for yourself in the last few months, you should take extra care of yourself. Do not put unnecessary pressure as it may lead to unwanted effects in the future and then you will be saying, “why me, why that” etc.
– learn to be kind to yourself. Tell yourself everyday how awesome and gorgeous you are. You are a perfect creation of someones DNA and appreciate that no matter how hard life gets. Concentration and passion will follow.
Sending you heaps of unlimited strength, power and positive energy. You are truly one of a kind 🙂
Jasmine