Hello there, fellow geek!

I don’t have a direct solution to offer for disaffectation, though do be aware that you have now self-diagnosed yourself based on the knowledge that you have at the moment and even knowledge that you don’t have. So a lot of guesswork and assumptions are at play here. I’m not saying that you’re completely off track, but it’s good to just be aware of the possibility.

You can actually affect the wiring of your brain. Take a look at the work done by neuroscientist Rick Hanson. He has written extensively about changing the way you use your brain and moving towards more compassionate living and easier handling of emotions. Mindfulness meditation has been proven to thicken the parts of the brain responsible for handling emotion. It does not happen overnight and takes a lot of practice, but the brain does keep growing and adapting throughout our lives. But you need to use your brain in a specific way, just like you need to use a muscle to make it grow. Now you are naturally using your brain in a specific way, so some part are left unused. I’m paraphrasing, as I’m not a neuroscientist, but do look up Rick Hanson.

I would like to say though that it’s not just about your ability to be empathetic. Other people should show some understanding as well. If your intentions are good, then the lines of communication should be kept open. We all make mistakes in communicating with others. I’m not saying that people should try to force friendships or romantic partnerships, but there is no need to completely fall apart. So part of the responsibility does fall on your friend. It’s not just you.