Peter, I have never been a master of relationships myself and so I don’t urge you to take my advice religiously…
but in all human connections I find that communication to the most maximum degree helps clears any internal conflict or guilt-ridden thoughts out of the way… It may hurt more at the time of communication but that is because you are taking what is unspoken and exposing it to the light of truth and tomorrow it will not be so much of a problem; it will have been dealt with. Even if what needs to be said may hurt one or the other, what comes from the truth is never good or bad – it is simply THE truth and will allow both you and your girlfriend to progress along your own paths as was meant to be without this roadblock of guilt (from you) and hurt/worry (from her) that has arisen from your break up.
Basically, tell her exactly how you feel – you are sad to close the door on your relationship BUT make sure your reasons for doing so are always CRYSTAL CLEAR to her that this decision is about YOU and not because of anything negative on her part… Should your intentions and concerns be expressed thoroughly enough, then there’s NO reason to feel guilt! Pain is inevitable and like I said, can simply be a product of facing internal truths. You NEED to help and love yourself before you can love another person whole-heartedly. This will hurt her, but only for the time being – if she is a good human then it become clear to her soon enough that it was true, you simply needed to find your own stability before putting all your emotional investment into the stability of a relationship.
Good luck and I hope your issues are soon resolved, guilt can slowly but surely rot your emotional wellbeing and unless you’ve committed serious misdeeds it is usually an uncalled for deterrent; but also on that note, guilt is so often simply the byproduct of being a caring, thoughtful and empathetic human. 🙂

• This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Brody Tripp.