@coolcorriander (love the name, by the way)

Your fear is completely unfounded, I have to say 🙂 I’ve done a lot of things by myself, from going out on weekends to traveling across Europe to just mingling with others in events. Nobody has ever said to me “you poor thing, don’t you have any friends?” 🙂 The reactions have been completely the opposite. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback and being called adventurous and courageous or simply social. As an example, there was this international event, and throughout I kept placing myself in situations where I was mingling with the foreigners or people from out of town, instead of staying with the group I came there with. I got a lot more out of the whole thing, as I met new people and made new friends. People are really quite accepting of a stranger who’s alone. Seriously, all you need to do is to say “I’m alone here, so can I sit here with you”. Most of the time, people start to take care of you and look after you 🙂 Then just smile, return the kindness and be genuinely interested in them. Pretty much never fails.

I don’t think finding friends is that different from finding a romantic partner. In a way, the same rules apply: you have to get out there, be social and allow things to develop naturally. Desperation is a turn off. Perhaps there was nobody you hit it off with in a dancing group, but those people also have friends. Perhaps someone invites you to a dinner party where you meet more people who are friends with more people. It just requires this openness to meeting new people and not judging them too fast.

Also, a person doesn’t have to stay in your life forever to give you a lovely experience that will stay as a nice memory. Like my experience in Germany with the other girl. It was really simple, we just laughed a lot and together met some interesting people, but it is an experience that has made my life richer. The fact that we aren’t close friends right now doesn’t take away from that experience. None of us owe the rest of our lives to another person and we are free to come and go. If the time spent together is fun or meaningful, we are more likely to stay longer. My point is that going on a search for a new best friend is like going on a hunt for a husband 🙂 It dismisses the uniqueness of the other person and their free will to do with their life what they want. So perhaps it’s better to just be open to even short experiences. Just having a laugh one evening in a wine tasting with some strangers. No strings attached 🙂 If you click with someone then make some plans to meet again, or exchange some information. “I know about XYZ, I’ll be happy to send you information about it” It keeps the connection open without being forceful. Asking for help or offering help are great ways to connect with someone.

Considering where you live, you have a huge amount of opportunities to meet so many different kinds of people! I’m pretty jealous 🙂