Hi Popi,

I use to have this problem with an ex of mine back in high school. I had a nasty habit of checking his Facebook profile, seeing if there were any statuses that might be hinted towards me, if he had a new girl in his life. I also texted him once and awhile “asking him questions”, or telling him I saw something that reminded me of him…anything to get a response from him. But it only went so far considering he had no interest in keeping the conversation going. It hurt. I had to accept that he was moving on.

And it hurt even more when I saw his relationship status changed to “In a relationship with ‘so-and-so'” a few months after we broke up. I would check up on his Facebook probably more so when I became aware of this fact.

It just wasn’t healthy for me. I suffered because of it, and I can empathize with you. But darling, I promise it gets better if you allow yourself to get over him. You can definitely control your thoughts and actions, it just takes practice. The mind is a powerful thing, and sometimes it can control us. But with patience and perseverance, we can control it and achieve ultimate mindfulness.

When you find yourself typing his name up on the search bar, quickly stop yourself and pause. Take a deep breath and tell yourself “There is no benefit of me checking up on his Facebook profile,” log off of Facebook and find something else to keep your mind preoccupied. Write in a journal, go running (it’ll help you maintain your goal), do anything that can distract you. Make this a routine, and it will work wonders. But you have to WANT to do this, otherwise you get stuck in this vicious cycle of checking up on him and becoming more vulnerable in the process.

He has moved on it seems, so why can’t you? Don’t you deserve every bit of happiness as well? Why do you have to suffer from this and he’s perfectly content without you?

You will get through this. I’ve been through this and can assure you it gets better with time. Let go of that crippling habit each day and you will truly feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.

Much love!