Yes, I am a bit of perfectionist. Another thing I chastise myself for…too much perhaps. 😉

I do find it extremely difficult to block out negative thoughts and yes, I get very frustrated that I’m just not “getting it”. I’ve never heard it put so eloquently. There’s so much garbage in there floating around, new information just does not want to stay.

Interestingly enough, I’m not too interested in the “why” – my parents, my upbringing, a bully from school, genetics. Sure, all of those things may have played a factor, but I’m tired of digging in the past for the answer. I strongly believe that the answer is right under my nose, but once again, “I’m not getting it”.

If I was my own friend, I’d probably advise myself to look at my apartment situation from another point of view – focus on the positive aspects of the situation and focus on the things that are in my locus of control to change. I’d also tell myself to be grateful for what I have. So many others have it worse than I do. And who knows what the future may bring. Appreciate what you have now, because it could all disappear in a flash. Sure, you may have made a bad choice and the other apartment could be better, but who knows. Nothing is certain. You made a choice and accept it as there was no other choice you could have made. As if the other apartment wasn’t even available.

If we were talking about comparing myself to others, I’d tell myself to continue my metta medittation practice and opening your heart equally to all living beings. To see all people as equals with their issues, hang-ups, insecurities. Sure they might a better job at hiding them most of the time, but like you, they’re probably just faking it 99% of the time. All the world’s a stage.,,so continue to play this role you’ve been assigned. Read your lines. There is no such thing as a small part, just small actors.

@Matt, it’s funny, but I never once complained about my old apartment. It was really my sanctuary and I loved coming home to it. Hence the comparison to this apartment and it’s flaws. But I will use this experience to help teach me a new lesson in acceptance, not being so overly dramatic about it, and changing my perspective on things. I will get it or die trying. 🙂

I appreciate the advice that you all have given me. There are minor changes that I could make to improve upon the situation, but I will continue to work at accepting, being happy and grateful for what I have, and changing my perspective.