Michael, there are years that ask questions and years that provide answers. We can never be sure how trauma separates us from ourselves. Your words reminded me of the old saying that sometimes the thing we need the most, we seek from others when we should be seeking it from ourselves. Grief and sadness can’t be the ties that bind with others so you aren’t bonding because you are in years that ask the questions. Who are you now? Where are you going? What can you give to others and what can you receive? If you can’t list the same thing for these two lists, you aren’t ready for healthy fulfilling relationships with others so just go to a few meet ups and join a book club and smile at strangers and remember that you deserve kindness, love and compassion…especially from yourself. Don’t force yours,ef to do what you think you should. That is way too much pressure on yourself. Be kind to you, be patient with you and know that you aren’t really alone. You have friends, you just need to find them. I met my best friend at the age of 32. We are never too old to find our heart families.