Dear sultana,
Please take a break from relationships. You are not ready for any. You talk about spark, chemistry, and attraction in this post and it seems that these are prerequisites for a relationship. Unfortunately, they have little to do with love. None of them can sustain a relationship Go find out what real love is. It’s not what you think it is. You will have to did deep inside old thoughts and writings on it. Then dig deep inside yourself.You may find that you don’t want to choose real love. That is fine. But don’t expect the chemistry to last. It’s mostly about sexual attraction, not real love. Good luck!