Hello Jeena,

Well, as you may have guessed, some things are real and some things are in your head. For example, when you say “He couldn’t but I know better” you’re comparing a new experience with someone new to previous experiences in your life, therefore, in your head, you are assuming that the same might be happening again because you have an event in your past that dictates how it goes however, you must remember that different times and different people can produce different results.

Having feelings online, from my perspective, is possible. You talk to someone, you get to know someone, it’s possible to develop quite the bound to a person despite having never met her in real life.

However, you have to take the other variables into consideration. There’s a reason why he didn’t come and the only person that can tell you that reason is him. It’s up to you to believe him or not, either way, it’s out of your control.

You can try to meet him, develop a relationship and I encourage you to do it but remember that, if it doesn’t work out, you mustn’t be afraid to take the chance. It’s better to let your heart guide you through these situations instead of looking for logical reasons to either go for it or back out. You’re never going to be fully happy with whatever answers we might present to you here since none of them will be definite answers to your problem.

Weather it’s real or in your head shouldn’t be a problem, if you want it, go for it.

Best of luck to you.

My response won’t be positive i am afraid. Before i met my lovely husband i had a long relationship with a man which was long distance and so we used email as our main method of communication. As can be expected, it all ended in – my – tears, and yes, i had built up an image of a man, even meeting him many times, which was entirely false. I fell in love with this image, which was not real. I only found out later, stopping communication and leaving him gave me all the symptoms of a broken heart, i was bereft, missed his letters. After i had recovered enough to start dating again, half a year later, when i started to do internet dating i made a rule of meeting prospective partners quickly, and avoided any long correspondence online. Never again would i fall into that trap.