Hi!

I’ve been in similar situations where my feelings are unreciprocated, not to mention the fact that I’m dealing with a breakup right now, soooo I’ll give you my advice. You’re going to need to cope by leaving her. She no longer exists to you. Not yet, anyway; it’s too soon.

I know you may not be able to hang out in groups with your friends, but my suggestion would be to get to know more of them on an individual basis, but if they invite you to a party, find something else to do, even if it means simply cleaning your pet turtle’s tank (sorry, that’s what I do when I need a distraction!). And you can maybe ask a colleague if they want to do some activity with you sometime. What do they do in Zurich in February? I imagine a lot of drinking…anyway. You made a great group of friends once, believe in your ability to do it again.

You are right to feel that you need to give her space, but you need the space, too. Contact with her will make it worse. Get rid of things that remind you of her. Block her calls, delete her pictures and such. I know it sounds harsh, but I really sympathize with you. I wish I could tell my younger self the same kinds of things I’m telling you. You will meet someone else who thinks you’re so fantastic they won’t be able to keep their hands off of you, but it’s not her, unfortunately. With less contact, you might find yourself thinking about her less and less, and then maybe you can try being friends in the not-too-distant future.

Good Luck, Mate! (Don’t they say that in Australia? Can you tell I’m an obnoxious American?)

• This reply was modified 9 years, 9 months ago by Stephen.

I’m actually going through somewhat similar situation too. I liked a girl and she liked me back in the beginning (well at least that’s what she said).Later, She told me that she is not ready for commitment and in the beginning i agreed to it and said that i’m cool with it but it seemed like i wasn’t. We talked and texted pretty much everyday and soon she told me that she sees me as her best friend and i guess it made even more comfortable with our relationship and at the same time that even got me more hopeful. Whenever when we went out, she would start talking to other people and that would end up me getting jealous. There was even a situation where i had embarrassed her in the bar by telling people that i like her when i was drunk. I did apologise for my action and since then, I’ve always been insure with going out with her because I was scared that similar feelings would come back and so i’ve avoided our nights out together as much as i can. I genuinely want to get rid of my feelings for her because i know it’s not going to happen but it seems easier said then done. I wasn’t able to eat nor sleep because i was overthinking most of the time. I want to end my over thinking, my jealousy and my love for her. Recently, I told her i need to stop seeing her and that i needed some time for myself and she said that she respected that because She is well aware of what i’m going through and says that she understands. So since then i stopped texting and calling her and for the first 2 days of not texting or calling her was quite difficult, after the 3rd day i guess it got a little better and for that have to thanks my friends who have been so helpful. But recently, she texted me to ask few stuff and all the feelings sort of rushed back to square one. Basically I’m really bad at explaining but i hope people got what i mean. I have no right to be angry at her because in this situation she has done me no wrongs, and we’re not even in a relationship and i don’t know why this has become so difficult. I wish feelings had a switch on and off buttons sometimes.