Hi Molly,

I understand where you are coming from, especially when you feel like you have been wronging by the other. My ex broke up with me back in September and I too was very hurt and angry. This cocktail of emotions will subside in time, be sure of that. However, you CAN speed it up and get on with your life.

Here is the way that I looked at it and how I dealt with my own break up, perhaps this can help you:

After finding myself single after almost four years, I had a lot of time on my hands and a lot of resources freed up to use for myself and bettering myself. In fact, only after the break up did I finally start searching for what I would like to do in my life career-wise. I spent and continue to spend a lot of my time working on myself and my goals.

Molly, try writing your feelings down in a word document, just like you did here, every week, and see how they change and progress. When I look back at what I wrote its incredible to see how far I have come since then, and you will too. Do you have a career that you would like to start? Do you have physical fitness goals that you have been ignoring since you were in a relationship?

All in all, this break up Molly, is a blessing to you.

You must not think of this as a “problem”, a “rut” or anything negative that puts you down. In fact, the truth is only this: This event and the subsequent situation that you are in right now is an OPPORTUNITY. That’s right, this is the universe kicking you in the butt a little and giving you a chance to move on to the bigger and better things in life that you must accomplish.

The reason I say this is because its so hard for people to change, to become better and better. Thus I see only two ways people will change:

1. They actually consciously decide to (this is ridiculously hard and rare) or 2. Something happens, an even or situation, that makes it NECESSARY for you to change and grow.

This necessity will drive you Molly, you are feeling down right now, you have a NEED, that need is to be happy and prosperous. That is why I say that you have an opportunity here.

As far as techniques go: please look up on “affirmations” and begin them and repeat them daily whenever possible. Also, I don’t care if the only running you do is for the bus: I advise that you start (if you don’t already) some physical activity and stick to it. This will make you feel fantastic and in no time your vitality will increase from the gains you have made physically.

Also, I like to read books (well, I do now that I am single hahaha), I’d like to suggest some great self-help ones: Think and Grow Rich, How to Win Friends and Influence People, The Luck Factor (this is an audiobook series, and take away what you want from it as some things I do not agree with but the overall statements are solid).

So Molly, enrich your life and start working on yourself! This is an opportunity, it is huge and it is at your feet, do not let it slip!
I like to say this: if you are comfortable, then you are missing out on opportunities, you may have been very comfortable in your relationship, and that comfort can be dangerous because we lose the will to step boldly into the unknown and achieve more.

Also, check out Eric Thomas, he is a phenomenal motivational speaker and he speaks the truth, and I know things are easier said than done, but you can do it!

Please keep us updated on your status over the coming weeks and months. There is so much you can learn and achieve, now is the time to do it!

Sincerely,

Singh

• This reply was modified 9 years, 9 months ago by SIngh.
• This reply was modified 9 years, 9 months ago by SIngh.