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Financial instability–is the desire for security a true need?

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  • #73651
    pink24
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    I’m currently in a state of uncertainty with my finances. I’m a writer, and I’m used to financial instability up to a certain point, but it’s getting to be a bit much lately and I’m not sure if the anxiety is worth it or not.

    I currently earn a living as a tutor at a learning center and it’s work I truly enjoy. I’ve never had a paying job I’ve truly enjoyed, so there’s that. But the financial instability is getting to me. I’ve been doing it for a few months now and it’s a nonstop hustle. Hustle I don’t mind, but I’ve recently found myself in a situation where a school the center committed me to backed out of their contract (for no good reason, which is probably why I’m extra pissed), and I’m left holding the bag. And I have an editor waiting for revisions to my novel, and the thought of having to find new work causes me severe anxiety, especially when I’m under a deadline.

    I don’t know how to not worry about money, even when I’ve done everything I can do, i.e. hustle for more work. I don’t want to waste time I could be writing, worrying. But hey, we all need money to live, right? Ugh I’m getting a headache even as I write this. So what do I do? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I just try to remain as present as possible and a solution will come? Sounds very buddha…but I fear (bad word, I know) that I won’t be able to pay my rent unless I worry.

    Thanks for all of your help. It is much appreciated 🙂

    #73654
    George
    Participant

    Hello pink24

    i thinks the anxiety is normal. I do not believe fear is a bad word. I mean do you deny being human? Why would you deny human emotions? If i understand correctly the school you have been working on is pushing you to quit? Despite enjoying your job? At the same time a novel deadline adds to the anxiety of everyday life?

    These events are stessfull. However denying that you fear them i’m not so sure it will solve your problem.Instead i believe the healthier pathway would be to investigate the reasons you fear them throughly and note if the fear is illogical.

    For example: Maybe you are afraid of being jobless. But is this reasonable? Do you have the qualifications to enter the market even if you are fired? Do you have incomes from your novels? Do you have support groups to help you financialy if something unfortunate as this might happen? If you answer yes to any of these questions maybe you will see the fear being reduced to a manageable level. I do not think however fear can be eliminated. But i believe it can be managed. In fact i remember all the moments of my life that i am proud of. They were all accompanied by fear. Hope this helped.

    Take care
    George

    P.S
    I am passing thourgh the same anxiety as you are (due to financial strain). Please do not give up smiling.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 9 months ago by George.
    #73661
    pink24
    Participant

    Thanks for responding, George. I appreciate your thoughtful logic and your kind words. You’re right, I shouldn’t give up smiling. Sometimes I feel frustrated because I feel like I’m constantly hustling. It’s exhausting. But yea, I can find work if I need to. You’re right. I’m on my own, so there’s no real financial support system–but I don’t mind that (that kind of support always seems to cost me in major ways, hence not having it anymore). So I guess I have to remind myself I’m doing everything that I can. I like that you say the fear is natural. I read a lot, mediate, and pray, so maybe I expect the fear to one day just not be there…or maybe it’s there less and I don’t know it. Who knows. I guess as they say, ‘this too shall pass…’ Good luck with your situation too! I’m happy to see someone else is going through a similar situation (I mean, not really but you know) and manages to stay sane. It gives me hope and strength. 🙂 pink

    #73665
    George
    Participant

    Dear Pink24

    I am glad reading, meditating and praying eases your mind. In fact, i admire you. I am studying Philosophy and my relation with praying was weakened due to the stressing questioning of the fundamental elements of the universe. By that time i have realised that i have lost the vital aspect of living and i have given up my self on questions revolving around the reasons to live. I said to my self <> So i think the fact that you connect with your inner self is an important step for coming to terms with the difficulties of life. Because nothing is more powerfull than the will to live. As you can see, i am not trying to sound like an expert, i am simply sharing my experiences with you, hoping that you will realise that we are part of a larger community with human beings that share the same troubles as you and me do.

    Indeed you do everything that you can. Even though the difficult times that you are experiencing you continue to contribute with your stories thanks to the art of storymaking and through teaching.

    I sincerely believe that every emotion has to be accepted and not repressed, touched with understaning and not with fighting passions or avoidance. After all we are human beings and we must embrace our incecurities. Our imperfections.

    Don’t forget that its ok to worry, just not too much, not all the time. Its ok to want security, just do not think that people will abandon a wonderfull person who has contributed with courage (yes courage it takes courage to get out there and work, or publish a novel). In fact do not think that people will abandon a person at all. Take away all your achievements and you are still beautiful!

    I haven’ t achieved a lot in my life (by modern society standards). Should i fall into despair? No. All that is needed sometimes is to ask for help and it is given. By the right people 🙂 Maybe the people who you asked for help until now were unable or unwilling to help you. Remember, we can help someone not only by giving him money. We can also be a good listener, teacher or friend. At least that is what i felt when you answered me. I said to my self it seems to me that communicating with you has helped me and you as well. And not a penny spent 🙂

    What else can i say. Not much. Just surround your self with people that you love and they love you. Keep doing what you love also. And when is the right time to stop worrying? Well, when worrying doesnt prepare you for a difficult situation anymore instead it takes away your abillity to enjoy any social situation! 🙂 🙂

    I enjoyed talking with you.

    Take care
    George

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 9 months ago by George.
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