I dated my ex for 4 years, but she dumped me at the start of the year.. She said that she still loved me alot and that wanted me by her side, i did that because i asked her if she’d let me fix the relationship she said yes.. She started enviting me to hangout but i could tell that she was uncomfortable around me.. She yelled at me once and turned her back on me went home pissed, and texted me that she had enough, the next day she said she wanted me around still..
since then we started texting sweet things with eachother, memories, caring.. we talked about our problems calmly, she said that she didn’t knew the future for us, but that for now she was ok…she invited me to her birthday, to her house, she kept saying (i dont wanna get your hopes up.. She told me she was feeling guilty because she dumped me but that she didn’t want to get back with me, but then one day she stopped answering and all came crashing down. the progress the feelings, everything..
She asked for her stuff, i gave them back and she started yelling that i talked to people, that i lied to her(i did.. i admited post-breakup, that my 1ºtime was with her), that she was tired of me controling her, that she would have sex whit who ever she wanted and that nobody needed to judge her(nobody did/does) and for me to move on..
Then it hit me.. im 21 she’s 20 she had a 1week thing with a friend of mine, that badmouthed her when she was 15 and she hated him, but now he drives her home every weekend, they hangout almost every day, they spend HOURS hidden “just talking” so he says..
I asked him to tell me if he had feelings for her, he said no, that she was just a good friend, but he hid the fact that he was hanging out with her, and most of the times i called him with her right next to him! the night i wanted to spook him to not lie to me anymore he “pocket answered” my call and i stood shamefully listening to what in my head sounded like sex for 30mints -.-” he hanged up, i called him again he answred, he told me he was home, so i asked him if the sex was good? he laughed said no, and that my question offended him (i didn’t told you because i didnt want you to get hurt, because i know it hurts you having a friend hanging out with your ex, but we are just friends), my ex even called me to say (no im not having sex with him) because she was right there with him! SINCE HE ARRIVED EVERYTHING TURNED TO ASH
I plan something with him, he goes out with her then i asked him where he was he tells me 2 storys..
Yesterday i pocket dialed her.. she called (im not dumb u know? i know you are trying to get my attention)
I told her the truth, she didnt cared “much”, she told me to delete her number..
Why the hell am i soo attached to her still? i kinda know that she still cares (about smtg in me)BUT she stoped talking about me to a good friend of mine, and tells everyone that she as had enough of me and that she just wants to have fun.. i want my “friend” to backoff but he tells me that now he has good friendship with her, and that i could’ve told him sooner(i did).. he feels disapointed because i dont trust him, but the guy only had to admit that he was talking to her! that way that stupid phone call would never had happened, and now i clearly see im starting to act like a loser -.-”

Can i get some feedback please? But i already know that im gonna break the guy in half soo..

TY