Hi Bren,

You don’t need to tell anyone if you don’t have to because frankly it’s none of their business! If they catch wind that you were arrested/in jail/in court be all, “Legal system. Don’t want to talk about it.” Or, “I needed a good lawyer on that one. So, about those Mets..” Everyone will say that’s the worst advice ever, but it is great advice if you want to put this behind you and live in the present moment.

Here’s something. A few years ago *There Was An Incident*. I caught the guy. He got three felonies and was put on probation for two years. It’s a small town and I know he was filled with embarrassment, shame, depression, and, I hope, guilt. I would check his very open social media page over that time to keep tabs on him. The thing is, if he didn’t make these really stupid decisions (only made stupider by how his was caught) I would have really liked the guy IRL. In fact, I’m rooting for him to turn his life around, and I think he’s well on his way.

I tell my kids, “You’re bad at being bad, so you might as well be good.” That’s true for most people.

Even the people you may have done wrong will probably forgive you, and if it was a social crime, the State has already moved on, and the cops/judges/lawyers have already forgotten you. Believe me, everyone will forget, or frankly won’t care.