Hello!
Many of my thoughts have been articulated already, but something I want to point out is that by coming on to this website and posting this, it shows you want to be positive. That is HUGE. You want to change therefore you have set into motion a wonderful and challenging process that will bring positivity into your life.

You have so many reasons why you can’t be positive, so many stories and attributes that you are attached to. Imagine you moved to a far away place where you knew no one. You could maybe just decide to be positive! Can you just choose to be positive? Something that helps me is smiling at strangers and trying to get them to smile back. I know it sounds really silly and even annoying, but it’s been proven scientifically that if you smile, even if it’s forced, it makes you a teeny bit happier. One of my favorite Buddhist monks says he looks in the mirror every day and if he doesn’t want to smile he moves his lips with his fingers into a smile and the silliness of it makes him laugh, therefore smiling!

I would recommend meditation for the reason that it helps us detach from our egos. Your ego has a hold of you and is very concerned with “me me me” and “I I I” (as all egos are!!) Meditation helps us experience the self that has nothing to do with ego, and therefore it is possible to see that this person you are describing is not in fact You, but rather a collection of stories based on a limited and short-sighted human experience. Meditation also helps us notice negativity and instead of adding more negativity to it, just letting it be and not being run around by it.

You got this! Who cares what you’ve been your whole life?! None of it really matters nor exists except for what is happening NOW. So choose, now, in this moment to be positive! 🙂 🙂 🙂