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Reply To: I can't get over her

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#74286
Kat Allen
Participant

Dear “I can’t get over her”,
A warm hello from “I couldn’t get over him”.

I’d like to share some thoughts and advice from my experience of heart break. I too have recently undergone the toughest struggle of my life, trying to move on when my heart and body are not yet ready for it.

Without going into the gory details I have learnt:
1. I suffered a traumatic experience, my heart and mind were is shock.
2. I could not stifle the pain. It felt far better to feel it completely. I lay on the floor curled up and cried my heart out until I was done. There is no shame or weakness in this, You are mourning a loss and this is a natural reaction.
3. Keeping him in my life made it all so much worse. Every little smile or act of kindness had me hoping he would come back to me, only to be disappointed again.
4. There is no time frame set to get over a broken heart, everybody is different. So be gentle with yourself and take as much time as you need. The people who love you will understand this.
5. Get back into life gently. Focus on the things that made you happy before you met the person.
6. Know that in time the pain will lessen and you will smile again and feel a weight lifted from you. But it does take time, you can’t force it.
7. Most importantly of all, appreciate the fact that you are the owner of a beautiful big heart that has such a capacity for love. A heart that can be broken is a heart that is strong enough to mend itself and love even greater.
8. and my favourite, if you can get someone to buy you or lend you a puppy or kitten, these delightful little creatures are the best medicine ever.

My thoughts are with you, remember you are loved, be gentle with yourself and please be patient with your healing process. And don’t change yourself for anyone, because if they really love you, they’d never ask you to change. They would make the sacrifice themselves.

Kat