fbpx
Menu

When to move on when Partner passes away?

HomeForumsRelationshipsWhen to move on when Partner passes away?

New Reply
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #75942
    Samafore
    Participant

    Hi, My partner passed away a month ago from cancer. It was a long and painful road we both went through together. While he was alive, he told me i was to move on and find someone else..I’m not interested in a relationship, but i am a women and i have certain needs that can only be met by the opposite sex. I ended up sleeping with one of his friends in a moment of weakness a couple of days ago. I feel bad about it and regret it. Am i being to hard on myself thinking i should have waited? The part that i regret the most is that it was his close friend. Any thoughts on this matter would be much appreciated.

    #75944
    Will
    Participant

    Presumably he thought of his close friend as a good person. Why else be his friend, right? And presumably when he said you should move on and find someone, he wanted you to find someone good. So then you made a good choice.

    I think you’re dealing with guilt that’s not about how you feel or what you want, but about what other people might expect or what’s proper or right according to society/culture/your mother/I don’t know. Tell those voices to butt out. This is your life, this is your mourning process, and if, at this time, you get some comfort or joy or pleasure out of sleeping with a man, and if that’s what feels right to you, then that’s what’s right for you.

    And if you don’t feel good, then you now know it was too soon. Wait a while before you try again. But make sure this not-good feeling is coming from you, and not everyone’s opinions.

    And be kind to yourself. You walked a tough road. All my best wishes.

    #75946
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi samafore,

    I’m sure his close friend has had the same thoughts and is also in mourning. He is grieving as well. As long as he doesn’t do a sudden disappearing act and treats you nicely going forward, I don’t see any problem. Of course, now things will “never be the same” between you and the friend. This is actually very common and very natural. Even in the Bible, when a man dies his brother would marry his wife. What this really means is that a dead person’s friends’ and family’s first instinct is to take care of those left behind ~ each other. Hold each other tight.

    Sending Healing,

    Inky

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.