Susie, thanks for sharing! below are some contemplations I have on this topic:

A rose does not instantly bloom – rather it needs the proper balance of sunlight, nutrition, water, and time. The same is true with both friendships and romantic interests. Every relationship is like a flower — if you rush it and feed it too much or too little water/sunlight (attention) then it will surely die. Perhaps your are skipping the important stages of growth and wishing to jump straight to the bloom? This is not a terrible thing that you have this habit, but I certainly encourage you to break it for (1) your safety (being too trustworthy of strangers and aiming to please) (2) your sanity (you need to filter out unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships).

Lastly, consider that it is common to want to jump from “harvest” to “full bloom” in today’s society. Patience is in short supply.. However, consider this perspective. When is a flower “perfect”? When it is a seed? a seedling? a stem? a plant without flowers? in half bloom? full bloom? when shedding it’s petals? when dormant during winter? when dead and decaying?.. The answer is, the flower is always perfect as it is… it cannot be in full bloom at all times — likewise, are your life and relationships. They will never be “perfect” so enjoy each moment of the cycle

Namaste