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Lost in Life

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  • August 14, 2015 at 7:06 pm #81851
    Janus
    Participant

    I’m not sure where to go in life. I am a wiccan and aspire to become a reiki healer. My parents are Christian and they don’t approve of my beliefs. I find it hard to let go of things such as old school notes because I feel I might need them in the future. Also, I still have past pain from failed dreams. I want to enter the medical field and these are the topics I’m interested in:neuroscience, pathology, radiology, interventional cardiology,
    dentistry, Opthalmalogy, Orthopaedics, Medulloblastoma and Neuroradiology. I also like spiritual practices such as reiki, holostic healing and alternative medicine. Where should I go for an education to pursue my career? Do you have any ideas of what the best jobs might be? Thanks! I am also interested in spiritual fulfillment, but often find myself acquiring negativity. I try to be positive and meditate, but I tend to be easily influenced by what others say and need to listen to my heart. Can I find my true life purpose and become spiritually fulfilled? I also don’t know about loving myself and have had failed relationships. I see insecurities and flaws in my body and my intelligence.

    August 14, 2015 at 8:28 pm #81853
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Hello Shirley1 – this is a tough question, especially because you’re just starting out, and you have so many interests! It may be a few years before you hone in on your career, but that’s ok – people seem to think they should pick something and stick to it for life. Or if they spent money or if they failed at something, that it was a mistake. Actually those are just stepping stones – I bet you learned some valuable lessons even through your missteps. So don’t ever worry about making a mistake (and don’t let people tell you either) – if you’re listening and following your inner voice, your path will straighten out on its own.

    Your soul already knows all the answers. Even if you can’t picture the big vision of where you’re headed yet, you’ll always be guided through your next step. Be patient and listen!

    As for getting affected by surrounding negativity, the best way out of it is to stay close to what brings you joy, what makes you smile, what feeds your soul. That will automatically help you let go of the things that drain your energy. As long as your consciously aware of what brings you joy versus fear, you won’t go wrong.

    I hope this helps
    Namaste, Saiisha

    August 15, 2015 at 7:56 am #81858
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear shirley1:

    You mentioned the pain of your failed dreams. What were those dreams? What is the nature of that pain- what is hurting inside you?

    Your quest for “spiritual fulfillment” as you termed it, your quest to listen to your heart and correct the insecurities in your body and intelligence, as you termed it, to not be easily influenced by what others think- the answers to these quests are in that pain I mentioned above, in the answer to that question.

    anita

    August 16, 2015 at 4:45 am #81870
    Inky
    Participant

    I would do the Wiccan stuff at the cross quarters of the year. Then get the reiki certificates. And be a healer while applying to or going to med school. If those don’t work out, at least you have the holistic stuff. Tell the rents that reiki is the laying on of hands as the early Christians did LOL!

    August 16, 2015 at 12:31 pm #81878
    Janus
    Participant

    anita, I think I let my past failures and what other people say about me fuel the insecurities about myself. I need to learn to love myself. I had dreams to become an ice-skater and get into a class for the medical field, but they were unsuccessful. Also, after failed relationships in seventh grade, I haven’t been as trusting and very shy when it comes to relationships. I don’t show myself as much as I used to. I used to love acting and I still do, but now I don’t feel comfortable being in front of people. I feel like I’m most myself when I’m alone.

    August 16, 2015 at 1:01 pm #81879
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shirley:

    I suppose you feel like you are most yourself when you are alone because you are scared when around people, scared to be more hurt than you already are. It means people have hurt you. On one hand, then, you need people and on the other you are afraid of more pain. is it so? If it is- or whatever it is- this is what you need to listen to. You need to listen to your emotions: what are they telling you? Who hurt you? When? How? What is hurting? The spiritual quest is in the emotions.
    anita

    August 18, 2015 at 5:42 pm #81992
    Janus
    Participant

    I think the pain began at the end of fifth grade in June. You could take a few friends to fifth grade celebration and have pictures taken together, but no one wanted to go with me. It was then when I first felt the sting of rejection, but only a little. They said I was too athletic and tomboyish. Over the summer, I decided to quit being athletic and somehow after not practicing for a long time, my athleticism has somewhat faded. However, in 6th grade, there was a girl and a guy who bullied me because I wasn’t athletic enough. In seventh grade, that’s when the pain hit the hardest, I had no friends and a tough algebra class and felt like no one was going to help me. I also got sexually harassed by a guy, making me not as trusting in relationships as I used to be. In eighth grade, I fell in with the wrong female friend and she got me very depressed. I was so desperate for friends, that I tried to be friends with her, but she was very depressed and made me more depressed. Also, in eighth grade, my parents were being overly critical of my wiccan religion saying that I had my head in the clouds. They said that I wasn’t a model student because I enjoyed spending time meditating instead of studying for tests. I got good grades, but they said that since I was almost in high school, I should stop acting and be more serious in life. I love acting because it helps take my mind of things, when I can be someone else, I feel like I can do and be what I want without limitations. Also, when I’m acting, I feel free and I enjoy making people laugh. I’m still a little on the shy side and trust as easily, but I’m getting more courage and building up self-esteem. The first two years of high school have been great and I have lots of friends and no one bullies me. Yet, I still feel insecure about myself at times. There are times when I have moments of clarity and I know what I want in my heart and no one, not even my parents can dissuade me. But at other times, I feel an emptiness and wonder if I’ll ever find fulfillment before I pass away.

    January 12, 2023 at 1:01 pm #413669
    Janus
    Participant

    Wow, reading over my post eight years have passed🥺

    I still struggle with building my self-confidence but taking little steps along the way.

    I got my reiki certificate in 2021 and my friend and I have been working on a wiccan site currently. We started it in 2018 and have been learning new things and editing things on the site.

    My parents and I still struggle to see eye-to-eye on many things and I’ve learned to be okay with it. I spent some time working on my mental health and have been establishing a daily meditation routine 😌

    I love being out in nature, learning about the plants and wildlife. Ecology and Pine Barrens courses were my favorite at Stockton. I have decided to pursue biology and environmental science with a career path working as a naturalist for the njdep or helping with environmental sustainability and resources for nj fisheries and wildlife.

    I feel like I have a better sense of purpose in my life.

     

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