Dear Anita,
Thank you for your kind words. Yes i didn’t realise, but it is indeed VERY effective for her: all she has to do is to yell and i’ll say what she wants to hear. All she has to do is stand in my place and i’ll run away and let her do my nice task. All she has to do is saying A to me and then B to me and she knows i’ll be doubting myself.
Yes i like your idea, thank you so much. I’m so caught in it myself that i can’t even think about it. But i will keep it in mind for next time. I am so afraid to say anything to her because i’m afraid that she’ll go to other people and tell them that i was rude to her and make me look bad – and that i won’t even know it because they wouldn’t tell me. But i have to stop thinking so much and trusting a bit more that there is not a whole army of enemies waiting to hear about my first mistake to all turn their backs on me.

Yes you are right, we need to be very compassionate and patient with ourselves, and in a consistent way, if we want te make change. Thank you for the reminder, it’s easy to forget sometimes.

Quite likely i will update her later on how it went.

Hi Jack,

Ok i see. It sounded to me that you were further in it because of the way you wrote it, but i understand, these things take a long process in order to change them. Good that you have taken the step already to look at it. I find that often the hardest part, being honest with myself about something that i want to change, and making the honest intention to learn to act differently.
I find work also difficult, even though my workplace is quite nice. But there seems to be more involved – i personally am always anxious to lose my job if i make the slightest mistake, and that other people will make my life miserable there. Even though it doesn’t go that hard it seems. But i tend to get quite paranoid anyway, so at work i have this in a high degree.

Good luck with practicing on it.