Dear Aislynn:

You wrote at the end of your post: “… but then (if you weren’t anxious) I wouldn’t be myself, would I?”

Can you imagine, Aislynn, for just a moment, that being yourself is actually being calm and clear…?

I used to think that being sick with anxiety was me, that there was something wrong with me. After all, if THIS is me, there is something wrong with me, a brain defect, some defect. And I had good reasons, so it seemed, to believe I was defected: the Tourette tics were good enough a reason.

What I realize is that there was nothing wrong with me, no defect. What happened is: I was injured, harmed as a child and my tics, and other manifestations of my anxiety are the consequences of those injuries inflicted on me.

There are many symptoms to excess, ongoing fear (anxiety)- those symptoms are categorized (artificially, by psychiatrists) in categories titled: OCD, Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder.. so many, many grouped symptoms, but the root cause for all is excess, ongoing fear.

it is not easy, but there is a way to heal.

Regarding medications, or as I refer to them controlled, prescribed drugs taken on the basis of (the doctor asking): how do you feel with 50 mg of this? not good enough? Let’s put you on 75 mg. After two weeks: how are you feeling? worse? let’s get you off this medication and get you on this other one.. or let’s add this one…A TRIAL AND ERROR basis), I was on them for 17 years, heavy doses, and my life circumstances got worse over time, reaching a bad state toward the end of those 17 years. Finally off them all since Oct 2013, a hard process getting off, took me 1-2 years.

The training of the brain, you can do it, Aislynn. Maybe with help of a psychotherapist, a good one… maybe alone, at least some…

Regarding yoga and such… I couldn’t take it at first, resisted any type of relaxation: meditation was out of the question. This is often the case with very anxious people, feeling more anxious trying to get quiet. Once you get over that phase, these practices are extremely helpful, over time.

Please post anytime!

anita