I agree with that theory about moving on and accepting, and it does work for some people, but my situation is a little different and it’s hard to accept a friend not being in my life. Right now, and for the past 6 years, I haven’t dated anyone, I’ve been alone, I work and come home and sleep. I stopped going places because it gets old going alone. I want to experience life with someone. I eventually want a wife and kids and I think having a family would be a great thing for me. This girl is the only friend I have in the town I live in. The other two friends I do have, they live in different states, one is a few hours away, the other, a couple of days away. Up until last week, i’ve been working to pay bills and have maybe $30 a month to spend after the bare necessities. To not have her in my life, and not being able to see her son grow, that’s depressing. I don’t want to give up on her because I feel she deserves a decent guy in her life, regardless of whether it is me or not, she still deserves a good guy. I feel i’m that person, and she’s even mentioned that she’s thought about dating me, but that conversation in particular got interrupted and we never finished. I still don’t know how she feels about me, or where I stand with her in terms of being relationship material.
I don’t date because simply no woman has shown interest in me. I have tried, and i’ve failed every time. I take this personally unfortunately because it feels like it’s because of who I am they don’t want to give me a chance.

Online dating doesn’t work for me. I have tried several sites and different ways of writing up a profile and I still don’t get any responses when I message any woman. Apparently I’m not a salesperson when it comes to selling myself. I’m honest. I am who I am and what you see is what you get. I don’t lie, and I’m not going to do anything I’m uncomfortable doing. I don’t sleep around, I have my own place, my own vehicle, I work 3 jobs. I’m making ends meet for myself. From my own experience, women don’t want that. Or I should say, the ones that I have attempted to ask out don’t want that.

As for free things to do, well, I live in a very small town. The closest city is about 40 miles away in any direction. Other bigger small towns in the area are 25-30 miles away in any direction. The town I live in is about 3,000 people, mostly older people simply because after high school most kids either move closer to the city or they go off to college. Also, I’m 33, I’m too old in one group and too young for the other. The selection is very slim.

I think she is interested in me, she just won’t commit either because she doesn’t feel she deserves that or she just doesn’t want to. I think it’s because she feels she doesn’t deserve it because of her past. And that’s sad. She deserves a great guy, someone that accepts and respects her and wants to be with her for who she is, not what she has. And that goes for anyone.

If I were to do that, it feels like I’m turning my back on her and I can’t do that to her, or her son. They deserve better. I can’t give up on her. I won’t. She needs someone like myself in her life, to realize that not all guys are out to get in her pants, which is exactly what she’s had in her life. I care a lot about her and her son. They are both amazing people. I’m just a friend, I haven’t made any advances on her, nor will I, because friends don’t do that, or at least my definition of a friend doesn’t do that. Yes, it’s easier to grow fond of a friend and some end up in successful marriages, but right now, she just needs a friend. That’s why I didn’t want to bring how I feel about her up in the first place. It’s a moot point. I haven’t asked her out because I know it would be an automatic no, and I understand why she’s saying no to everyone. In the last couple of months she’s turned down almost a dozen men, so why in the world would I make my self number 13? I feel I’m smarter than that.
I have no interests and I’m not one to start conversations simply because I don’t have much to say, and it’s even worse with women. I don’t feel like anyone is interested in me. I’m not part of the casual sex population so what do I have to offer some woman? Absolutely nothing.

Anita, I have offered to hang out with her a couple of times even this week, mainly to distract her son so she can get some stuff done around the house. He demands a lot of attention and it’s just her to tend to the household duties along with tending to him, so anytime I can help distract him I offer, but so far she’s said no each time I’ve asked. I can see she’s stressed about work and other personal stuff, but at the same time, one can only do so much to help another person, then it’s up to them to either help themselves or ask for help. I just wish I could do something to help.

Anita, I believe it was several months ago, September comes to mind but it could have been earlier, it has been going on for a while though.

I like your perspective relating this to molecules and atoms, and I agree with that concept.

I’m introverted and I’m constantly thinking about things and when a problem needs solving it is in my nature to not let it go until I find a solution. I feel the need to help my friends when they are in need. Even if it is just venting their frustrations or whatever, at least it helps them in a small way instead of building it up inside over time. She is no exception, so I may have pushed a little too much in asking, but my intentions are good. I think if I leave her alone for a bit she may ease up and let me visit her and her boy. It’s been nice to go over to see a friend and play with her son instead of sitting at home alone all the time. I miss it I guess.

Our friendship has been a great one so far. I think she’s an amazing person and so is her son. She’s a wonderful mother and a good friend. Just an all-around great person. I believe she thinks similar thoughts about me, too. We have conversations that last hours and I have a blast playing and interacting with her son. It is like a form of therapy for me since he demands attention, it requires me to focus on him instead of myself and my own problems for the time that I’m there with him. So far, I can say it has been a win-win for both of us. We both try to help each other out as much as we can. Maybe in time she’ll be open to a relationship.

Thank you all for responding and giving different perspectives on this.