Yes, I am so ready for a different dance! I have been pulling back and stopped trying to make things ” all better” for him in the daily tribulations. When I snap back with a retort about what he is saying, he says ” Why are you so angry?” Don’t you have any humor anymore?” That always gives me a twinge of guilt, but I have been better in controlling that. I rationalized in my mind his words, and know that I cant take the rest of my life, to make sure he is happy. He will never be really happy, He can only whine…..
I am so ready for a different dance…..After my meet-up, I will know when to do……not if, just when!
Of course, if there is a blow up from the sons or whomever to call R-2 in their rage, I guess the decision will be made, huh?
I will live solo in my apartment for at least 6 months, to make sure that R-1 is what I thought, and that R-2 cannot make my life miserable legally and financially when he throws his tantrum. R-1 can drive to see me or I to him when we can. I don’t want to add fuel to the fire from R-2 or have him hunt down R-1 in his anger mode. It will work out somehow….
For now, I have my busy season at work to keep me occupied and not to arbitrarily just leave. It would disrupt my work situation and I want to keep that stable for now. Saw the therapist this weekend and it was good. She is an excellent sounding board without judgement and supports me when I falter. She knew me from 7 years ago, when I was seeing her as one unhappy mom who felt used by all. Thank you for your kind support also!