Dear Anita,

There are soooooo many triggers around me. From my workplace to the shopping centres, vegetable market, coffee shops etc. I am struggling with all of them. Sometimes I am not able to do RAIN at all. I get so overwhelmed by emotions/feelings and the aversion mechanism kicks in.

I have always consider myself as a good person who believed in doing the right thing and now I wonder what I did so wrong to deserve this. In my previous breakups, I was okay but not as bad as this. It really hurts and made me question about my believes about loving relationship and integrity of people.

If the whole world is filled with such people who are unfair and have poor integrity, if relationships is all about chasing that initial sparks, if people have no guilt or conscience after behaving poorly then why should I stay the same? I am the one who’s suffering, who couldn’t go to work for weeks, who is seeing counselor, who is whining about life on this forum whereas she is just plain simply cruising. My emotional investment and authenticity to that failed relationship is somewhat the cause of suffering.

I am finding my values to be incompatible with this world. They make me vulnerable, they will make me hurt again and again.

Brav3