“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” ~Proverb
A few months ago, I moved from the metropolitan east coast to rural Indiana and bunked up with my grandparents to help them sell their house.
The house has finally sold, and now I am faced with options for where to go next. In other words, my future is completely uncertain at this point, and I'm experiencing quite a bit of anxiety over it.
On the real, I'm silently, and at times not so silently, freaking out.
Anxiety is so annoying in that it can be completely paralyzing. It is for me right now.
My anxiety has taken over my productivity and has almost completely shut down my creativity. Also, my sleep is suffering, which impacts my skin, eating habits, and energy. It's a yucky downward spiral, my friends.
The major bummer is that my anxiety doesn't solve any of the things I'm worried about, and the blocked energy flow this negative emotion generates only creates more problems. What is a distressed girl to do?
Today I dragged my anxiety with me to my meditation pillow, and had a piece of paper where I quickly jotted down all of my greatest fears surrounding this move that's upon me in just a few short weeks. I sat for a moment and wrote down anything that surfaced.
What came up was that I am fretting that I won't have enough money to support my upcoming move, I’m wondering what would happen if my car breaks down, and I’m worrying that I might not be happy in my next environment (and so forth). All valid fears, I would say.
But then I realized that I really needed to dissect those fears further.
Why am I worrying that I won't have enough money to support my next move? What is the worst that will happen if I don't? I’d have to move back in with mom and dad? It might not be my number one choice, but I would still be alive and healthy and loved.
Why am I panicking about my car breaking down? What is the worst that would happen if it did? It would be totally unfavorable, but eventually AAA would come pick me up and tow my car to safety. It would delay my trip, but eventually, I would get to my destination, and I would still be alive, healthy, and loved.
Why am I questioning so hard whether or not I will like it where I'm going? As I look back, I cannot think of anywhere I've ever lived that I haven't loved.
We are only as happy as we make up our minds to be, so knowing that my happiness is all internal, I have nothing but my own attitude to adjust if I find myself going sour on my new destination.
Furthermore, I can always move on if I don't like where I end up, and while that may not be the fireworks I had imagined, I will still be alive, healthy, and loved.
I felt better once I realized that even if things don't go according to my plan, in the grander spectrum, I will be okay.
However, this issue still needs to be unpacked just a little bit further, because you see, all of my fears, no matter what form they take in my head (which creates them in my physical reality), they all stem from feelings that I don't want to feel.
I don't want to feel the feelings of humiliation, irresponsibility, and failure of showing up at mom and dad's to crash in my old room.
I don't want the pain-in-the-butt drama of a broken down car and the inconvenience of being stranded on the side of the road.
And, I definitely don't want to make the big move and then feel unhappy in my new living environment. I dread feeling that I've made the wrong decision.
The chance of encountering any of these feelings and their related experiences is almost strong enough to stop me from going, even though it's not a guarantee that any of these hypothetical situations will even occur.
What makes me hesitate, though, is that it's not guaranteed that they won't happen either. Oh, the conundrum.
The good news is, there is a way to keep these fearful experiences at bay.
After stripping my fears all the way down to the core feelings behind them, I realized that by worrying about these fictitious possibilities that may or may not happen, I am actually lining myself up with these lower vibrations—and I’m making myself a perfect match to attract these situations I fear.
It sounds confusing, I know. But understanding this emotional play is the key to freeing ourselves of anxiety and other paralyzing emotions. Knowing this “like attracts like” law of energy is our way out.
Every emotion carries with it an energy, a certain vibration, the highest of which are emotions such as love, appreciation, joy, and gratitude. Lower resonating emotions are feelings such as fear, guilt, shame, regret, anger, despair, humiliation, and anxiety.
Worry/anxiety is a vibrational match to humiliation, dread, and unhappiness, all of which I do not want to feel.
Therefore, if I worry about the possibility of encountering other situations that are going to bring me other emotions that I don't want to experience, I will actually be setting myself to experience them!
The reason why I want things to work out in my favor is that I want to feel a certain way.
Having enough money for my next endeavor, a trustworthy vehicle, and environmental happiness make me feel safe, secure, confident, grounded, happy, and at ease.
To open up to these feelings, I need to match that vibration emotionally—and non-stop worrying does not match.
If I want self-confidence, happiness, and security, I have to skip ahead to feeling that way now.
If you find yourself fraught with anxiety, feeling fearful about the future, you will attract your worst fears. When anxiety tries to bring us down, there are 3 things we can do:
1. Take a moment and see what feelings underlie your fears.
Then see if you can figure out how you'd rather feel and choose to feel that feeling instead. If you are having a hard time lifting your mood, get busy doing something you enjoy that will raise your positive vibration.
It's easy to raise our vibration. Engaging in our hobbies is a great way to bump our vibes up a few notches, and it can be anything really—playing sports, cooking, baking, gardening, playing music, cleaning, exercising, meditating, practicing yoga, singing, dancing, crafting, building, organizing, or snuggling with your pet.
When we keep ourselves elevated, it's really hard for anxiety to find us, helping to keep negative experiences at bay.
2. Instead of gripping at fear and worrying about whether or not something will work out, just know that it will.
This is what it means to have faith. Just know that no matter what the outcome, you will be okay, and if it is in your highest interest to have what you want, you will have it.
3. And last, ask the universe for what you want and then let go of the outcome.
Instead of focusing on what you want, focus on how you can be of service. When we are serving others, we are tapping into more of that feel-good energy, which will bring us more feel-good experiences.
Show up each day ready to serve the world, your family, your environment, and yourself. Focus on how you can add value to the lives of others. Good experiences will come to you.
Once we realize the root of anxiety, it is easier for us to transform it into positivity. I wish you all a blissful day!
Photo by Zach Dischner