“Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One day when I was a kid, my best friend and I decided that we were going to bury a time capsule in the backyard. We gathered an old shoebox, some glitter, and paint and then spent the whole afternoon decorating this box that was the symbol of our best friend status for life.
We filled it with some of our favorite items and pictures and then wandered around the yard in order to scope out the perfect location to bury our sacred box. We dug what we thought was a deep hole, placed the box inside, and covered it up.
We made a pact to dig the box up together in five years.
Not even five days passed before we were sprinting toward our special spot to dig up our friendship, only to discover someone had beaten us to it. As it turns out, my brother and his friend were watching from behind a tree as we buried the box a few days prior. Curiosity got the best of them.
Unpredictable circumstances altered the outcome of our time capsule, just like growing up and having different interests altered the outcome of our friendship.
Where did my childhood friend and I go wrong? We were supposed to be best friends for life. Life I say!
Or maybe we didn’t go wrong. Maybe friendships and intimate relationships come with an expiration date of sorts.
I’ve had many friendships I thought would last my whole life, but life surprised me, as it often does. As I look back, each friend or relationship that I’ve had made perfect sense for me that time in my life.
I believe people are brought together for each person’s maximum spiritual growth. When the growth is done, it’s time to move on.
That spiritual growth could take two minutes, two weeks, two months, two years, or a lifetime. Either way, when the time comes, the most powerful thing we can do is allow ourselves to move on and trust that everything is happening exactly as it should.
Sometimes outside circumstances seemingly force our relationships to shift and move apart; other times it’s a decision you consciously make to walk away. However it happens, below are some ways you can move through changing relationships in the most positive and powerful way possible:
1. Don’t be afraid.
As you learn and grow, so do your friendships and relationships. I really noticed this when I started committing to a spiritual practice everyday. My circle of friends completely shifted. This is nothing to fear.
It’s not a “good” or “bad’ thing, but it’s important to understand that throughout our lives, people are going to fall away. And who knows, they might be back, but all you do know now is that you’ve learned all that you can from each other at this time.
When relationships and/or friendships end or shift, there is nothing to fear. Whether or not you realize it, everything always works out the way it’s meant to.
2. Take responsibility.
If the break-up was messy, or the friendship ended in a not so positive way, take responsibility for it. When you get to the point where you no longer blame someone else for how you feel, miraculous shifts occur.
I often turn to my inner guide, the voice for love within me, and ask, “What is the spiritual lesson here?” Your power is always hidden behind the people and circumstance that disturb you the most.
As some of my recent friendships evolved and fell away, I’ve discovered areas within myself that needed to be healed. The purpose of the relationship or the friendship was to show me those areas. Relationships can be amazing tools that catapult us to another level of peace and love.
3. Trust that you always have everyone you need.
This tiny idea can bring massive amounts of peace to your day. What if you woke up every morning knowing that every person you needed that day would be brought to you?
I try and start my day with this idea because I immediately stop trying to control my reality, and instead, trust in my inner guidance a whole lot more.
There is no one missing from this moment whom you need right now. If you’re sitting in a chair with no other bodies around, that’s because in this moment, your soul does not need anyone else to learn from.
4. Get ready for new friendships and relationships.
When you create the space for friendships and relationships that are not working to fall away, get ready, because new people who are more in-line with what your soul most needs to learn are on their way! This only becomes a fearful process when you forget that you’re always guided and that everything happens for you, not to you.
5. Release your guilt.
As I got more and more committed to praying, connecting to my true self, and meditating, I felt deep in my heart it was time for me to make some shifts in my outer world. That decision involved moving across the entire country, far away from family and all my friends.
At first, a few of my close friends couldn’t understand why I was leaving, and for a brief moment I felt guilty about it. But I had to follow my path and trust that new people and experiences were on their way.
Other people may not understand why you’re making the decision to move on, but that doesn’t matter. You can’t control what other people think. Always trust your heart and never feel guilty for it.
No matter what, remember that every encounter is holy. Every person is a reflection of you. As you change, move, and grow, the reflections around you also change. Embrace them!
There is no need to fearfully cling to relationships and friendships that are not working anymore. Rather, get excited about the new ones that are surely on their way. All changes are helpful.
Photo by Birte rhdn