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Create Your Life: Having Nothing Can Mean Having Everything

Man and the sun

“Breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Things fall apart so things can fall together.” ~Unknown

A decade ago, as a nomadic adventure-seeker, I traveled and lived in Belize. I’ve always been a dream chaser, which means if I dream it, I start living it.

My twenty-year-old self was convinced living the island life in the soulful country of Belize was my dream and gateway to happiness.

After about a year of a major reality check—living on an island is very different than vacationing on an island! I felt totally empty. I felt like I had nothing.

Seriously, I had no job or city to go back to. Yet, it was just the breakdown I needed to move to the other side of the breakthrough.

A friend I met down there, another nomadic adventurer, said it so simple and straight:

“Well, since you got nothing, you’re really free to do anything.”

And in that moment was a major mental mind-shift:

Having nothing also means having everything.

That made it easy to get off my sorry butt and take full charge of the limitless possibilities in my life.

In the empty space of having nothing, there is plenty of room for the new and incredible to make its way in.

And that’s what I am sharing today:

If you feel like something is missing, or if you feel like you are not where you want to be, if you feel like “This is not it!” You know what? Within the “This is not it” rests the answer of your “Yes! This is it” life.

If you are not living the life you want, the biggest hurdle you face is within your own mind. As said by Anthony Robbins:

“It’s not about resources, it’s about resourcefulness.”

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, use that to fire up what you want.

If you want anything to change in your life, you need to change your mind first. If you feel like you are in a the midst of a breakdown—like things around you are falling apart and not going the way you hoped, you need to first change your mind and then choose another way.

The energy around a breakdown is heavy. However, energy is just energy. Instead of labeling the breakdown as “bad,” imagine un-charging the heaviness, and simply seeing it as pure energy. That pure energy is pure potential.

Take that massive amount of energy from the breakdown and transform it into your breakthrough moment.

If I had remained in my funked-out state, worrying that I have no job and no home, I never would have started researching new places to live, and new things to learn, and the new life I wanted to create.

I took the energy of the breakdown and redirected it into taking action to change my circumstances.

The moment I shifted my perception, my reality changed.

As Marianne Williamson says, “A miracle is just a shift in perception.”

And that is what happened to me that day. It was a miracle.

A shift in my perception led me from living in a situation that was no longer serving any joy or purpose, and directed me to move to Vancouver and study holistic nutrition, which has played a massive role in my joy and purpose.

Whatever is not working in your life, you can make a miracle out if it, too.

All you need to do is take that first step and decide.

If you are feeling in a funk, or like things are just not working out, take that energy and redirect it.

Start by simply giving yourself permission to fully feel the pain you are in. Once you can accept that your current circumstances are no longer serving you, you can choose to deliberately change it.

Give yourself permission to take “thinking time.” Life can get so busy, and often when we don’t like where our life is, we fill it with things to do so that we don’t have to think about our unhappiness.

However, this doesn’t help us get out of our funk. This is what keeps us stuck in a perpetual state of unhappiness.

Give yourself permission to think. Go outside in nature and give yourself an hour of pure thinking time. Ask yourself: What do I want in my life? What is my dream solution?

The answers are inside of us. All we need is to give a little time to take care of our emotional body so that we can break free from the self-made blocks that leave us feeling heavy and unhappy.

Once you give yourself time to think, you will often start to shift into a new mindset full of possibilities. The most important thing at this stage will be to make an action plan to actually change how you are living.

Ask yourself, what step can you take today to make your life lighter? What can you let go of that is no longer serving you?

Sometimes it will be a radical change, like moving to a new city and starting a new job, or studying something brand new. Other times it can be as simple as integrating a new healthy eating habit or daily exercise routine.

Whatever it is, make sure you take action so that you actually breakthrough to the other side and live a life of more meaning and fulfillment.

Now it’s your turn.

Have you ever experienced a shift in perception that helped you get unstuck? Or are you in a place that feels stuck and you’re finally ready to shift your perspective?

Share your story and insights in the comments below. Your contribution helps us all grow!

Photo by Leland Francisco

About Tova Payne

Tova Payne is an author & personal coach. Her newest book, Eat Think & Live Rich: A Guide to Health and Happiness, is now available on Amazon. She runs a virtual coaching practice helping people turn their dreams to reality. For a FREE guide to starting and finishing your dream projects and weekly inspiration, sign up with Tova at tovapayne.com. Connect with Tova on Facebook.

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  • Esha

    Tova!

    This was a real inspiring post 🙂 I loved reading it and I loved your message. ‘Having nothing means having everything’ Wow! Its a beautiful reminder. Thank you so much for sharing that.
    A shift in perception that really helped me (I had it recently only) was that I am never alone and the Universe is always here to help me. It made me just exhale fully and deeply and I felt really relived and relaxed after that. Another insight was that whatever negative (if I may use that word for a moment) emotions I experience aren’t to be feared. They are portals of discovery, revealing things about me that I wouldn’t have known ‘cuz I wouldn’t go there voluntarily.
    These 2 insights have made my days a lot better and I am really grateful for them. Thank you so much for today’s message. Simple, straightforward, and truly effective.

    Much love!

    P.S. I loved the ‘thinking time’ part! I love to be in solitude and get in touch with my insides. Don’t you too?? 😀

  • I fully agree that a change in perspective can change your whole life. I experienced this with my career. I decided to stop focusing on what I didn’t like about it and to take advantage of all the great things I could do with it. That shift changed my whole career for me. I focused on the possibilities instead of the limitations, and I today I really love my job. Great post! Thanks!

  • Chris Silvestri

    Great and ispiring post! One of the difficulties in letting go of the negative to get into the positive attitude, thought, I find it may be, letting go of the past, of the memories that you tend to keep. The process must need a really strong motivation!

  • tkresia

    Beautifully written! When you change your thought/energy you also change your reality. Shifting your perception is not an easy task but the key is to be patient with yourself and remember that it’s a process. Very inspirational post. I love it.

  • Tova Payne

    Hi Esha! Thanks for your comment. Yes, time alone, in nature is the best way to ground, get clarity and allow our mind to release and move into greater clarity & peace and connection. I love what you say about portals of discovery. Thank you for sharing 🙂

  • Tova Payne

    Thank you Tkresia 🙂

  • Tova Payne

    HI Chris, thanks for your comment. I think at times the process can need a strong motivation, but another thing is our mind can only be occupied with one thing at a time. Its a law of physics: no 2 things can occupy the same space at the same time. So if we shift out attention to gratitude, or something positive, that alone is strong enough to release the negative. Then, it turns into a game/or like a meditation of sorts. Anytime a negative though comes in that you are aware of, you consciously choose to release it and focus on a positive one/a thought of gratitude. 🙂

  • Tova Payne

    Hi CJ, that is very inspiring. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  • kittykat

    Somehow the tiny Buddha articles always align with my circumstances and what I’m going through at that point in my life. This article included. Recently I decided it was time to move out of the apartment I was living in for various reasons, the most prominent being it was time to move on, just felt right. Was getting a little worried the end of the month as I was finding little few living situations that would suit me, that is until my older sister calls me up out of the blue and asks me if I wanted to move to the city of kelowna half hour away from my little old hometown vernon to help her open her new gym and work front desk girl full time. BOOM responsible roommate, full time job, limitless new learning opportunities all fell into my lap. We just recently found the perfect affordable place downtown. West kelowna very recently opened a new csnn school where they offer holistic nutrition which is exactly what I want to get into. I cant believe how lucky I am and how things just fell into place, which just goes to show you have to put a lot of work into it but its so worth it. Can’t wait to start this new life 🙂

  • This article has great timing for me! I’ve just had a massive breakdown (lost fiancé, apartment, job) but the immense sense of freedom I get out of this situation made me feel like the world waiting for me to achieve even greater things. Having nothing to lose definitely can motivate to try something new, maybe even something crazy. ^_^

    “Take that massive amount of energy from the breakdown and transform it into your breakthrough moment.” – I love this quote and since I’ve already thought a possible new direction in life I shall take your advice and make the best out of it! ~

    The only difficulty I face are self-esteem issues but right now I can’t afford to stay in my comfort zone so I’ll just push myself through these issues and out of this situation! Fighting! ~

  • Girldawg1

    Less is more. The more we have to take care of and balance in our lives the more unhappiness we are likely to feel. Most helpful to unload a little something every day – either physical or emotional baggage. That way we can function at a little higher level of consciousness. I’m in transition again in life, this time after a devastating loss. It is from difficult circumstance and grief that we can open portals to new ideas and opportunity. When things are at their darkest and we seem to be blocked from all directions we are actually standing on the threshold of something new. God bless.

  • Chris Silvestri

    Yep, that’s very true indeed! And a good thing to practice daily 😉 thank you!

  • Dee

    I enjoyed reading this- it’s reassuring because I’ve just decided to quit a job and live off of savings in order to find my way into more meaningful work. It would be nice to jungle-bar from this job to the next, but I just need SPACE. At times I worry about becoming destitute in this job market once savings run out, and feel like I should stay and be thankful for the stability. But the stability is stifling. I’m deciding to take the leap. Thanks for the inspiration!

  • Tova Payne

    Wow Dee! That’s inspiring. Brave. Courageous. And sounds incredible 🙂 Thanks for sharing here :))

  • Tova Payne

    Hi Girldawg1, wow, so inspiring and helpful for us all to hear. Yes, the dark times do lead to light, and thank you for sharing with us here. I also love what you say about unloading a little everyday. Yes! Thank You 🙂

  • Tova Payne

    Hi Lacosta, Thanks for your comment and sharing here. And the magic happens everytime we push just outside our comfort zone 🙂 And that alone, I believe, will strengthen your belief in your strength which increases your self esteem because moving outside our comfort zone is challenging and rewarding 🙂

  • Tova Payne

    Hey kittykat your email made me smile Big Time! Thanks for sharing this great story 🙂 WaHoo! And CSNN is where I went back in 2005. Its a great learning experience 🙂

  • I experienced a shift in perception two years ago, thanks to yoga, meditation, hiking/nature and journaling. I know yoga was the most significant factor. It’s changed my life for the better in ways that are still revealing themselves. Anyway. I loved everything you said. Spot on!

  • “They are portals of discovery, revealing things about me that I wouldn’t have known ‘cuz I wouldn’t go there voluntarily.” OMG, Esha! What an AMAZING way to put it!

  • Marva Greenleaf

    Activated by the Sacred YES!

  • Ru-an

    Things are falling apart right now for me, at a frightening pace too. Same deal of always feeling cursed and nothing really working out. Conquered ground lost. Back to square one. I guess the message is I’m on the wrong path altogether. I can’t think of another reason things would fall apart so quickly. Your post helps somewhat but I’m sick of always trying to ‘make things work out’, only to watch it fall apart again. I guess you just gotta keep grinding until things finally work out for you. But right now I have no clue what to do and I’m just sick of it all.

  • I’m sorry that you’re in a phase of feeling stuckness right now. I’ve been there, in my own way. And, I know how painful, frustrating and just plain soul-crushing it can be. As a control freak, the greatest lesson I’ve learned thus far is learning to let go and let be. Yoga has helped me immensely with that. Not sure if you’ve tried that, and I have no idea what your situation is, so please forgive me if I’m overstepping my boudaries, but just figured I’d throw it out there. May you find some clarity soon! <3

  • Ru-an

    You didn’t overstep any boundaries. Letting go and letting be is good advice. I find it very hard to do though, because I believe I’m responsible. It’s like I keep coming back to the same point. I keep failing.

  • Anthony

    hi Ru-an. what a powerful comment you leave.
    i can empathize with you completely.
    here i offer what i feel for your situation.
    the line “i believe im responsible” is the key truth in all of it. by being aware of this the changes can happen.

    letting go and letting it be is hard when you are not playing your own rhythm. I have seen in life that when we are not playing our own rhythm, and we are trying to “be someone” or doing things that others think you should do, then things will fall apart.
    failure is part of the growth, if we dont see it in a negative light. it can help us get out of our cycle,

    if we choose to see it as a lesson, it will help us turn our cycle/patterns into a growth, like a spiral staircase. instead of a merry-go-round.
    i hope this makes sense 🙂
    in summary, if you can see that you are responsible, it means you have the same power to get out of the cycle/pattern.
    much love 🙂
    heres a good quote from Batman 🙂
    ‘why do we fall down? so that we can learn how to pick ourselves up”

  • Esha

    Geez!! Thanks a lot 🙂 Inspiration like a thunder bolt of lighting 😉 I really liked that too when I wrote it.

  • Esha

    Hey Tova!!
    I forgot to tell you but you have a really beautiful name! 🙂
    I visited your site too and I loved how simple, honest, and impactful (the word’s my creation!) you are in your writing. Awesome!! I could totally connect with it.

    Wishing you the best of luck in everything!
    Much love <3

  • Ru-an

    Thanks Anthony. We will see what comes out of it all. Right now it’s just a bit hard for me to look at things in a positive light.

  • Sheila

    After reading this post, I am reminded of the following poem in French – Liberte by Robert Desnos – “Le monde appartient a ceux qui n’ont rien” = The world belongs to those who have nothing.” I taught HS French for 20 years, and every year I had my seniors memorize that poem. In this consumer-driven world of ours, I like to think that I planted that seed in people who were stepping out into the world . . .

  • Gretchen

    This is one of my all time favorite Tiny Budda lessons! I have been suffering through a breakup for nine months,we were together 12 years. We owned 2 beautiful homes, one in RI and. Beautiful family camp in New Hampshire. I was given all the furniture,which really just made me feel I was thrown out like trash, and I feel I am responsible for this life changing event. I know I need to let go of my guilt, and my things. It’s just so very hard for me, my collection of “things” I’ve collected my whole life. I want to move with little to the mountains of North Carolina, but finding it soooo hard to part with “stuff” even when I need the money desperately , for I have been unable to work much,being in a comatose state most if the time.I desperately want to let go and be free of these feelings and things. Reading Tiny Budda is helping me every day through this living hell. I have great support of friends and family,that keep telling me life WILL get better:) thank you for this words of wisdom, I really needed it today.

  • Gia

    Tova, I just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing this! I just quit my job today & this article has given me the strength to take the thinking time that I need!

  • Tova Payne

    Thanks Esha 🙂

  • Tova Payne

    Hi Gia, Wow, brave and amazing 🙂 Thanks for sharing here.

  • Tova Payne

    Hey Gretchen ((hug)) thank you for sharing here. Letting go is definitely one of the most challenging but freeing experiences. xoxo

  • Tova Payne

    Hey Sheila, that’s a great quote, thank you 🙂

  • Tova Payne

    HI Gina, thanks for sharing here. Yoga is an incredible practice that has this magical power to touch us in ways beyond the physical. I think of it as psychology through the body, and so thanks for sharing the impact its had on you. I can relate.

  • Tova Payne

    🙂

  • The section where you suggested giving oneself some “thinking time” hits home for me because l have a habit of filling my time, days and energies with things that help me avoid thinking about my unhappiness. It is a coping mechanism, and the only one that I’ve found to be effective in keeping me from going off of the deep end. If I were to “think” about all that I’m not satisfied with, I’d be in big trouble, as a lot of pessimism and self-loathing would overflow and lead me to a lot of inaction. Being busy and active at least gives me a way to fill my time without sulking in front of a TV with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. I mean, that’s no way to live. We all have to find what works for each of us and many times, I think I’ve found what works for me.

  • Jenna B.

    What a great post! I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. I had graduated college and realized my major wasn’t what I wanted to do. Then came two years of unemployment and falling in and out of depression. I finally broke free and landed a job, completely unrelated to my major. It’s been almost a year and a half working at this job, and the job duties have also shifted. Deep down I know I don’t want to stay with this profession or company in the long run, but I’m not unhappy. The job is highly tolerable and even enjoyable at times. I think the route of my problem is that I still don’t know what I want. I’m a big thinker, and I’m sure some will say I think too much for my own good, haha. It’s the thinking that often leaves me even more confused than in the first place! I have so many passions and technically I have a lot of freedom to pursue my dreams, but why don’t I know what I what? How does one know?

  • Tova Payne

    Hey Jenna, thanks for posting. I find the best way to know is to take action on one thing and through action you will know. We cant know just through thought. Thought will only take us so far, and our mind is so clever it can think up all kinds of stories to think ourselves IN and OUT of just about Anything! This is why action is the magic. The moment you take action you get immediate feedback. The feedback will be—Yup, this feels right, or Heck no! This ISNT it! So lets say you had 3 major passions. I would take a little time to brainstorm them, write it out and see if there is an underlying common theme. Then, I would focus on one thing and decide what First action can I take to test this out? When you look at things as a “test” or “experiment” it lends some freedom and allows you to discover if that passion is something you want to pursue at the level of Intense commitment/career or to keep it as a hobby. Hope that make some sense 😉 Let me know if I can help further

  • Tova Payne

    Hi Nicole thanks for sharing. Being busy, can in fact BE a very healthy coping mechanism. At the same time, when we allow something to be as it is fully, all things in life complete itself. Like when we are happy we don’t try to distract it with something else because we enjoy it. And like all things in life, that event completes itself. In unhappiness we often try to resist it/stop it/not want to feel it, so it never gets its opportunity to complete itself and it sticks around. The practice and Art of allowing is powerful. However, it can be tricky. It is one thing to be with an emotion, which is a powerful and ultimately peaceful state(even if it is the experience of sad), the tricky part is the stories we make up(in our head) that go with the emotion, versus the pure emotion in and of itself. Not sure if that’s making sense. I guess its the difference between ruminating over something which is not healthy or beneficial, and then simply allowing the emotion of sad to run its course which is healthy and beneficial. I like what you bring up here, because I think it is helpful for a lot of people 🙂

  • skinnamoncoast

    Nice post. I’ve recently gone through a major transition–everything broke down/restructured and I’m rebuilding. New city, new job(s), new people. I’m living with much less–it’s refreshing. If I had to leave I could without having to do much of anything with my belongings. I got all my furniture donated in my place. It’s been a challenging year, but I know is taking me closer to my ideal life–not the detour I expected, but making the most of things really makes you feel good. Difficult, but reframing one’s perspective and using that energy to make changes, builds you : ) The post was very enjoyable.

  • Cashintelligencesassy Carmouch

    .

  • Faith B

    My boyfriend and I have been working a lot on changing our perspective towards the positive. We live in an apartment we hate, feel like we own too many things, and he’s stuck in a job he hates for the next two and a half years. Despite all this, we’ve been so motivated to being positive and making the best out of our situation. We’ve been downsizing our life in preparation for our dream of living in an RV and looking for a new place to live with cheaper rent. Instead of complaining about our money situation (my job doesn’t pay squat!) we think it’s a good thing since it prevents us from being mindless consumers and we pay a LOT more attention to our budgeting and savings. Instead of being down about our current situation, we spend a lot of time planning and being REALLY excited about the future.

  • Jenna B

    Thank you so much for the advice. It makes a lot of sense. Unfortunately I’ve had a lifetime battle with anxiety that often prevents me from taking action. Although I can proudly say I’ve come a long way in the last few years. I think I just need to continue to push myself out of my comfort zone. Even if it takes little steps at first.

  • Fncanuk

    I have been spiraling down the path of removing the ego and enlightenment for the last 3 months. All of my distractions (video games, movies, etc) have disappeared. I have been reading and meditating in all of my free time. I read this and quit my job 20 minutes before noon, couldn’t even wait it out to round my hour up. I knew I had to quit, I’m not who I used to be, and I couldn’t work the job of my old self anymore, it does not serve me. Reading this put me over the edge. Thank you.

  • Tova Payne

    Wow Fncanuk! Inspiring and made my heart light up 🙂 Thank You for posting 🙂

  • damo

    very inspiring, I’m considering doing the same, would be great to hear how you get on, good luck 🙂

  • Apollo

    My name is Apollinaire N. and I am 31 years old. I was born in poverty-stricken environment. When I was 13 years old, I decided to change my life by taking risk adventure. I was in primary school that time and hadn’t completed it. When I left my birth country, I was not sure how I would survive there, in a foreign country, where I had to complete my education, learn new things including new languages, new skills and adapt to the new life experience on my own, of course without parents and a minor. After many years of trying to change my life, I lately found happiness and the good life I was destined to live. It’s a long story. My conclusion is that impossible is nothing, God gave us reason and we have to use it for our advantage to radically change our lives.

  • aneternaltraveler

    Tova, your post really struck me. I guess you could say that I’m the category of being “in a place that feels stuck and you’re finally ready to shift your perspective”. I hope you don’t mind that I used a quote in your post as a springboard for a post on my blog. http://aneternaltraveler.wordpress.com/2013/12/01/distracting-yourself-from-your-unhappiness/ You wrote, “Life can get so busy, and often when we don’t like where our life is, we fill it with things to do so that we don’t have to think about our unhappiness.” That really resonated with me. I feel like I’m at a crossroads and the decision I make will define my life for a good long time. Thank you for posting. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

  • slbbls

    Hi Ru-an, so funny- I completely understand what you’re going through. I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way. It’s like you feel like you keep messing things up, even when you try to set them straight. So in a way theres no control, yet you are responsible for the failings. But anything you do to succeed turns backwards. It makes you feel and wonder if you are cursed. Like nothing you do really matters, because it will always turn negative. And it gets so exhausting and feeling hopeless..,like you’re fighting some nameless faceless evil force, so how can you possibly win?? I had such bad luck tonight, and throughout my life, I am feeling exasperated, alone, empty and helpless. But maybe the key is to have faith in God, no matter what, no matter how dark, how hopeless things seem, to always hold on to that light, and never let go, to always believe God will come in and change it all, that God is with you through it all. Maybe that is the key…to let go, and let God do whatever comes…believe there is a meaning and purpose behind all that happens, good and bad

  • slbbls

    Don’t Quit

    When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

    When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

    When the funds are low and the debts are high

    And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

    When care is pressing you down a bit,

    Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

    Life is queer with its twists and turns,

    As every one of us sometimes learns,

    And many a failure turns about

    When he might have won had he stuck it out;

    Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–

    You may succeed with another blow,

    Success is failure turned inside out–

    The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

    And you never can tell how close you are,

    It may be near when it seems so far;

    So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–

    It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

  • Ru-an

    Thank you Anthony. I realized I have played by the rhythm of the entire world for far too long. And all the time I thought there was something wrong with me, instead of with the world. But I have become very strong through this process and I believe there is a reason for it all.

  • Ru-an

    Hi slbbls, you said it very well and thank you. You truly feel like you are the only one who goes through it, which is the worst part. You feel utterly alone and powerless. But I think you are right that you should trust and surrender to God. I think in the end it all works out. Maybe even better than you could have ever imagined.

  • melldclute

    I’m so glad I did a Google search on how to lift yourself out of a funk and create the life you want. This page came up. I am at this point in a bit of a personal identity crisis. I’m approaching 40 and feel like I haven’t been living the life I wanted, but have no idea what life I really want. I find it hard to find happiness in my life. I had a rough childhood, unsupportive and uncaring parents, was seriously bullied as a kid in school, and am starting to feel like I need to shake things up. I need to release the bottled up emotions that have been festering in me for a long time now. Reading this helped me greatly. I will be attempting to try this idea, go outside, allow myself to feel what I’ve not been allowing myself to feel, and ask myself what do I want. Guidance would also be very helpful, so I would appreciate any other insights that might offer some help to me as well.

  • Andy Johnson

    I made a big decision to follow my passion for art rather than working in a dead end job I really didn’t like. A year and half without showing any progress in my dream goal has taken its toll and I do now feel overwhelmed by negative emotions. One of the biggest setbacks is loneliness. I stay in everyday to work on my art, some weeks I barely speak to anyone and when I do I am guarded. The only escape would be to go for another job I won’t like, but at least then I will have the money and opportunities to meet new people and experience life again. I can always pursue my passion after work.

    I think the reason I quit my job in the past was because I felt I didn’t give my art chance to flourish. Now that it’s had that time I think my perception has changed to get back into work so that the income and enhance life.

  • Brenda

    Oh this is so good!! You are so right about spending time alone with one’s self in nature. At least it works for me. I am a walker. So I love being outside with nature. The quietness and stillness gives me clarity and allows me to look at my life more. Not to mention just listening to the birds, seeing a rabbit or deer brings a smile to my face. I too had reached a dead end in my and just did not know what to do next. No job, my son just graduated from high school. I needed a fix really bad. So I relocated to another town over two hours away. Started a job and living in a extended hotel for now.
    I feel better just being in a different surrounding! New faces, new places to shop etc. I have a new perspective on my life. Action changes things in your life. Not being still and waiting for things to change. So true that it does start in the MIND!

  • Tricia Starrr

    I stopped at the part where she said she was able to move to Vancouver and study holistic medicine. How are you able to do that when you have nothing and no one. I thought this was an article on how to make a change in your life when you have nothing and no one.

  • Henry Molek

    I recently got out of a nightmare, really bad relationship with a married girl that was really harming me bad intentionally. Most of my life I was is a really bad childhood, then when I can to the states I got really hooked on drugs for half my life, which left me homeless , in prison on the street, every possible situation a drug addict can be in. It got to the point where I could do drugs anymore, when I looked in the mirror I was disquasted with the person I seen, in tears. I ended up in a treatment center and recovery homes for two years. Lot of it led to my child hood how I grew, I had a lot of negative feeling, blocks, where I could breakthrough in life. From drugs I had psychoses, I was pretty much beat up and broke down. But still holding on. With the last girl there was fights and arguments, just all kinds of stuff that I never wanted to go through in life. I was vonarable, recovering from pain, or still in pain. And she started taking advantage of me and hurting me on purpose, she’s been in relationships all her life so she knew how to harm me really bad and mess my life up for good. She was really deceiving, conniving and a lier. When I was in treatment I wanted a nurse or a rich girl to be with. I guess I would give in more to it, to settle. But once you get it, I wanted more, intimacy connection, love, together. Pretty much the dream. Then you meet someone that really knows how to screw intentionally. Just a bad person. And she was married to a guy for money plus she was a psycho. But I was learning not to look at people as how bad they were. I wasn’t passing judgements, I didn’t like it. The less I thought about people bad the better of a person I look at myself as. And for a whole year there were arguments and physical fights. I couldn’t stand being with her. She tricked me, lied to me. Then planned to hurt me intentionally. She was evil. The hurt and pain of what she did for a year and half it was the worst. She harmed me so bad, that I actually wanted to kill her. It was agonizing pain. The girl before her, harmed me so bad I actually planned suicide. I can never find the one that will be the one. How people feel to be a fairy tail. Most of my life I had setback where I could not breakthrough in life, success, career, money. It’s been really hard. I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life that I’m not proud of, stupid, suck stuff growing up. Never understood why I’m like this. Lot of it is pain, suffering, from what’s been done and did. Anger, resentment, lashing out it part of it. Been trough a lot in life, and can’t figure out how to get rid of the pain, hurt, suffering, to move on to what I want to achieve and have in my life. Feel like there is a lot of stuff holding me back without a breakthrough, I’ll see a window then it closes. Success, achieve your, letting go of pain or getting rid of it, the hurt the harm, sometimes suffering is impossible to get away from.

  • Henry Molek

    A lot of my pain, hurt, suffering is holding me back. Ever since from a kid of not having a good childhood, to adult hood doing drugs not understating why my life is so screwed up, why am I like this, why is everybody different. To going into rehab treatment thinking I will have to deal with all the pain in life going trough in pain to at least not doing all the stuff I have done. Which I am vonerable and in pain. Not knowing how to deal with some people, relationships, lot of bad energy inside of me, that makes me run away from people, which is a lot of pain and agony inside of me. It’s hard to deal with the hurt inside of me, if I get around people in public it’s hurts even more on the inside of the chest and stomach. Tried to get into relationships it was for the wrong reason in the beginning which was find a girl with money. But there was no bad intention to it. But then I wanted more, connection, intimacy, settle down. But I ended up getting hurt even more, really bad. I was in pain all my life. The relationships after treatment left me in even more pain, really excruciating not to bear. The last girl intentionally planned to hurt me, she came over just to hurt me. We had a discussion that I didn’t want to see her till she got a divorce. And she was trying to get her sick off on me. She was really sick. Told her about the relationship before her, that I actually wanted to commit suicide after it. It was jus a lot of pain. There was a lot of arguments. And lit of hurt to me. And she said about the other girl. Go Liz go, congratulations. Don’t remember exact works, but that’s how she framed it. I didn’t understand it. But she really was trying to harm me, mess up my life, she was physically hurting me. Just showing stuff into me. I was already in pain. Anything else is unbearable. She said she wanted a cake on a side. I really didn’t take her serious when she said that. She also said she was going to take me down with her. I don’t take her serious. Her marriage is all screwed up. Told her get a divorce. And then we can talk. There was more than enough fight arguments, stuff done that I never would want done. Back and forth. Her intent was to screw me, hurt me, provoke me. She really just wanted to screw up my life and harm me for life. She really wanted to scar me for life. I can still fell all her bad energy all she did to me, and is doing. She was slowing me down, harming me. I could get myself or emotions, fillings in order for a long time. Over eating. I don’t like porn or sleeping with random women. Ended up sleeping with girls that I would never sleep with, caring stds. Watching porn because of frustraion, pain and hurt. Just really sick stuff. Sick porn too. I actually wanted to kill her becouse of what she done. I could feel it in my chest, heart, stomach. I get around people and I’m even in more pain blocking it out. Hurts my stomach, chest, heart. Unwanted thought come into my head. Not pure thoughts. I feel stuck don’t know how to get out of it. How to get rid of the pain, harm, agony, suffering, unwanted thought. I can’t breakthrough to be free an move on with my life. I get slow down, lazy. Don’t feel right by some people. Like I feel sick by them. Wanting to break free from the bondage, and bad energy that she way showing into me while harming me. People that I live with I can feel their bad energy. It’s harming me, angers me, makes me hateful and pissed off. I can’t get it to go away. And close the gap in my life, in me to move on and pursue my succeess, path, freedom. I feel stuck in pain, like there is no way out to breakthrough it. To get rid of the pain and what she did to me. I feel really suck. And I’m stuck on the inside of agony.

  • Henry Molek

    Since the last relationship I was supposed to be in, I came out with a burden oh really heavy piercing, burning pain, hurt, suffering and tons of agony inside my chest, head, heart, stomach, and sexually. It was one of the worst pains in life and moment of actually trying to do things right, and in turn I really got screwed intentionally and hurt on purpose by a girl because she was really conniving, deceiving and lying to everyone. We had a lot of arguments and fights becouse how things were, I don’t like the fact that she was married and playing me, lying to me. So we were fighting and arguing and I was trying to kick her out of my system, out of me, becouse she was harming me. So there were arguments and fights. So her intent in return was coming back and find a way to really harm me for life, really hurt me. I know that was her plan becouse I could feel it, and what she was doing. So she planned how to really scar me for life and destroy my life but hurting me and she knew she really could hurt me bad. Told her about my life story and everything. Most of my life I was hurt and in a lot of agony. Made me antisocial becouse I was always in pain. If I feel bad enerygy around me it really hurts me inside. There is no was to numb it, like I would like it to or get rid of it. My feeling change. I can’t keep one emotional feeling inside. It’s a lot of hurt. So I go around people or get away from people. If I stay I get tired, noshies, sick, stomach hurts, I really get weak. I start seeing negative things, and get really really sick and really weak. Sometimes I feel like I can’t be around people, I get off track, distracted, can’t concentrate. Feels like I can’t get rid of the hurt, and breakthrough to start succeeding in life. If I think about talking to people I get piercing chest pains, mind goes blank, chest tightens up, stomach hurts. Feels like eating all the time. I can’t get started in business and preceded to move forward and achieve succeess. I feel lazy, not energetic, and a lot of negative thought going trough my mind. Which makes me weak.

  • Henry Molek

    A lot of times I feel really tired and my energy gets drained, especially when I’m around people or if I feel bad energy then I get really tired or I start over eating or eating. I feel like I have no purpose in life, if I think about something then later I get dismotivated. I really feel weary, tired, exhausted and feel like I can’t get out of that funk. I feel like I need to set myself free. And it’s like I can’t get out of it. I feel really heavy, feels like I’m missing a purpose or motive. Really tiresome. I’ve had a bad childhood and did a lot of stuff as a kid, and as an adult that doesn’t sit right with me. I guess finding a new way. But it’s hard.

  • Henry Molek

    Most of my life I was in a lot of pain and suffering. Lot of heaviness which make me lazy, not motivated and eating a lot out of my schedule which made me feel more lazy, and disguasting. Got out of a terrible relationship, which the girl was harming me intently really bad. She was one of the worst people I’ve met. She really tried to screw my life up. She knew my story and that I get hurt easily. She was two faced and backstabbing. She hurt me so bad. That I lost life, motive, started over eating. Layed in bed for like me a year, just eating in agony, really suffering, it was a heavy burden. Turned to porn a lot, sleeping with other women. Cought STD’s, I mean she hurt me so bad, she mind as well kill somebody. She knew she was trying to scar me for life. Growing up it was lots and lots of drugs, not by choice, that’s what it was. Turned into it. Jail, prison, on the streets. Always felt there was no way out of it. Ended up in rehab. When I came out, I knew not to hang around people, that’s what happened from the start, the influence. So I have a hard time getting rid of the bad energy out of myself, it’s really heavy. When I get around people, I get tired, lazy, start eating again, overeating. A lot of the bad energy is in my stomach from her. She grabbed in to me really hard during sex, really hard and she was pushing towards me. It was a lot of bad energy from her. Them we got into an argument so she came back, lure me in, knowing that I didn’t want her. Grabbed on to me again, froze up, locked, and closed in me. Took me to her place. And in bed with both her hands she just hatefully angrily shoved, push lot of bad energy toward me. Like if you have a 3 year old sitting, and then just shove it really bad with hate towards the baby. It really weakened me at first, it just really hurt me. I mean she backstabbed, she was willing to do whatever so she can stay married to the guy with money and do whatever she wanted. Pretty much as she said it, have her cake and eat it too. She knew she could harm me. I knew from the start she really wanted to scar me. I looked at stuff ina good way. My stomach was full with bad energy, my chest burning, my head was drilling really bad, my heat hurt. I ate a lot, just junk food, turned to a lot of porn, sleeping with all kind of girls. Nasty. Felt really shitty. Disgusting, in pain, agony, really heavy, she was holding on to the harm she did to me. And she was happy about it. She’s really sick, she was going off. She’s really Bipolar. She’s just a sick, dirty nasty individual. She sold out to a guy with money. He doesn’t want her, just had sec with her, and totally ignored her, she said like he meet with guys, trannies for sex. Then she told him to marry her. It was all for the money. She’s a sick individual. I could feel other people. Like the wound is still open, and bad heavy energy goes in. I get harmed easily. Then I turn to eating a lot out of my schedule, lots of pornagraphy, nasty one.

  • Henry Molek

    Lot of my troubles and heaviness comes from the pain that I have and heaviness from the last relationship that the girl put the harm on me. I can’t be around people because I end up in harm, if anybody bumps into me or stares at me with bad energy it hurts me, drains me, gets me tired, and makes my stomach and chest hurt and makes me eat. I want to break through from the heaviness and hurt and pain. There is a lot of suffering and agony in my chest. Feels like I’m lacking a purpose in my life, direction and how to get to my succeess full point in life. I get distracted a lot with people, and sometimes I don’t feel clear. And get really pissed off. Sometimes I feel like there is no way to break out of the heaviness and suffering, pain, and agony in my chest. There is a lot of energy around me that messes with me, and derails me. Becoming successful in my life had been the hardes thing to become. And a lot of it would be getting rid of all the bad negative heaviness painful energy and close the harmed wound to move on to be successful and move on with the life.

  • Henry Molek

    Most of my life I was in a really bad drug use. Which I bacame homless, on the streets, eating out of a garbage can. I could figure life out. I had a bad child hood, beaten most of the time. So when it came to teenage years I was really vanurable, no will power and influenced by others in the wrong direction. It could of been my fault also, by the choices I made. Most of my life was heavy burden. I didn’t know how to deal with life. No direction and no sense of purpose in life. Being around people make my stomach hurt, makes me eat, and drink. I feel like I need guidance in Perdue of my success. I need to free myself of the burden, pain, bad energy that is holding me back. Sometimes if I let go I feel like I fall apart. I get tired, lazy and mismotivated. I get distracted easily, and need clarity to Perdue my success in life. To free myself.

  • Henry Molek

    The last relationship I was in the girl really harmed me, she grabbed the hold of me really bad and was hurting me. Her pure intent was to hurt me. She knew should could hurt me. And I know she is holding on to the harm she did to me. As her pride. She was pushing a lot of bad energy into me. Just showing stuff in me, intentionally, hatefully and angry. Which make me hateful and angry. The hurt was really heavy and agonizing. It’s like I couldn’t get it ouf me. It hurt more and more. The more I got around people the more hurt me, made me lazy, not in order, not clear, made me think about bad stuff, and over eat. Like I had no purpose in life, or direction. Feel like I have to find a way. There is people that are distracting me, sometimes it’s the people you might know. I need to set myself free and find a way to be successful in life. Reach my goal.

  • Henry Molek

    I feel like the last girl I was with is still holding on to me that had that she caused. I still feel like she is pushing bad energy towards me. She said she did witch craft. What she did is really harm me. She was holding on to me during sex, really hard, it was hateful and conniving. When I was angry or in pain she was happy. Her pure intent was to harm me, so she could feel a certain way. She’s one of the worst people I’ve ever meet. I can still feel her pushing bad energy towards me. She has a sick mind. She’s smile at people and in a blink of a eye she’ll look hatateful towards me. She did abuse me sexually also, harassed me, and abuse me. I was already in pain from most of my life, childhood and my teenage and adult hood from abuse and drug use. My whole life was just pain. So there was a wound in me that hurt. And she tried to open the wound, which I was already in pain and just harm me really bad, with hate and anger. Image a 2 year old baby and a grown girl just picked up the baby and shook it really hard with anger and hurt. And image if you had a deep wound in you really deep and hurtful and somebody did that to you. By just pushing hateful and bad energy into you. Just grabbing on to you, splitting the wound open and just showing all the hate, anger, bad energy into you. That’s what she did to me. She purely wanted to harm me and scar me for life. She really wanted to mess up my life, just screw it up. I know that was her intention. That’s what she did. I didn’t want her. There was arguments and fight. She was married, her marriage was all messed up, it was for the money. So she kept saying, girls gotta eat, she wanted a cake on the side and eat it too, that she was going to take me down with her. I didn’t think she was being serious. But she intentionally planned to hurt me. She was not a good person to be with, evil. She knew she could harm me, so she kept on coming back and back. She didn’t want to loose everything meaning, she didn’t have to pay rent. He bought the car. So she was going to do whatever it took to feel a certain way, even if she had to screw my life up and put me in pain for life. That’s how, decieving, evil and conniving she is. She was deceiving me the whole time. She even said she lived a double life. She just left heavy baggage, suffering, aches. She was willing to mess up my whole life, so she can have hers. She got off harming me.

  • Henry Molek

    The pain and agony that the last girl left is really hurtful. She was trying to break inside of me and really harm me. She was trying to rip me open and just outlet hurt me for life. Scar me really bad. She was trying to go inside of me, while harming and hurting me. It made her feel good. She’s just a hateful, harmful, conniving person. That was her comfort. Find someone she can hurt and harm.

  • Lost Guru

    I really want to love this article, but I feel like ughhhh….. I feel like I’m in a funk, and I don’t know how to get out. I feel like I have nothing. I am trying to re-imagine all the options and world of possibilities I have, but still feel stuck; frozen. I don’t feel lazy, but I do feel burdened. Like something is on my shoulders, maybe it’s the weight of expectations I have. Well if my life expectations are keeping me stunned from moving forward, how do I overcome what I hope to become? How can I feel the energy of life again?

    Maybe I need love, but I’m too adjusted to my lonely life to go after it. I’m used to misery, and can’t help but find comfort in it now. I don’t know how to fix myself this time. I don’t know what direction to take. It all feels like I’m spinning, spinning, burning my energy until there’s nothing left. I used to have so much passion. Now there’s nothing I look forward to. What can I do?