The Amazing Healing Power of Talking About Our Anxiety

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I have dealt with anxiety for as long as I can remember. There are times when I don’t experience it and times when it seems unbearable. It’s sort of like a rollercoaster that just never stops. And I am the first person to admit that anxiety can take over your life if it goes unmanaged.

The toughest part about anxiety is that it can be hard to pinpoint what is causing it. For me, there isn’t just one common recurring thing that starts it; rather, it stems from an underlying issue or insecurity that I am trying to ignore.

What I have learned about anxiety over the years is this: The worst thing you can do is ignore it or run away from it. Anxiety is there to teach you a lesson so you can continue to evolve and grow.

I recently had a rough encounter with anxiety that left me feeling isolated and scared. I had these recurring thoughts that wouldn’t go away. It was also confusing because I hadn’t experienced anxiety at that level for a very long time. I was feeling happy and content with life, and then it came back with a vengeance.

This time, when my anxiety appeared, I pretty much ignored all my own advice and the years of learning I had accumulated on the subject. All I wanted to do was numb myself with distractions, wishing it would go away on its own.

I tried to pretend that everything was fine and nothing bothered me. This made the situation so much worse; running from the anxiety caused it to become loud and persistent until I was able to learn from it.

This recent experience reminded me that the best way to deal with stress is something most people aren’t using.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or a therapist and can’t support my advice with any medical studies. But I am someone who has lived with anxiety all my life and can recognize what helps me move past it and not let it completely derail me.

When it comes to anxiety, the best and fastest way to find relief is by talking it out. Yes, it really can be that simple.

In my experience, talking through your anxiety with a trusted friend, partner, or therapist can be instantly therapeutic.

So why do most people not talk about their anxiety? Let’s look at the main reasons why.

Judging the anxiety

Have you ever thought, “My feelings are stupid, and my thoughts sound ridiculous; why are they making me anxious?” Our judgments about anxiety block us from sharing with other people because we’re afraid of what they might think. This, in turn, gives us more anxiety!

Next time you feel anxiety creep in, remind yourself that you are not weak for having anxious thoughts. Talk them through with a trusted friend, and you will soon be reminded that you are safe, loved, and protected.

Dismissing the anxiety

While our judgments can make anxiety worse, dismissing it altogether can be just as detrimental.

So many people spend their day distracted, going from work straight into numbing with TV and social media, to avoid sitting with their thoughts.

Dismissing anxiety does not make it go away; it only makes it stronger. When we stuff down emotions, we give them way more energy than we would if we simply talked through them in the moment.

Also, repressed emotions can lead to physical ailments and block our ability to feel happiness.

Whenever I feel weighed down, like a dark cloud is over me, I know it’s because I am ignoring a thought or emotion. When I talk it through, it soon takes away all the energy needed to store the anxiety, allowing me to find happy feelings once again.

Isolating yourself because of anxiety

Anxiety can make us feel completely alone, as if no one else feels how we feel. But with eight billion people on this planet, there’s no way you have a unique thought. I promise you, if you’re dealing with it, there are thousands of other people going through it too.

The majority of us are waiting for someone else to be vulnerable first before we feel comfortable sharing. So have the courage to share what you’re going through, and I guarantee you that there is someone who can relate to you, making you feel less alone. Vulnerability is the fastest way to find courage and dismantle what anxiety is trying to keep you stuck with.

The truth is that anxiety wants your attention, even if it’s just to tell you to take better care of yourself or set some boundaries. Whatever the message is, it’s better to listen and talk it out rather than suppress it.

Understanding this has been instrumental in helping me release anxiety. Here’s what happened when I talked about my anxiety with someone I trusted:

My body physically relaxed.

That chest tightness that grabs ahold of me when anxiety is at its worst instantly went away. It’s like I could feel my body physically melt into the present moment as the anxiety eased. All that stored tension was able to exit my body. After, whenever the anxiety came back, I remembered to focus on my breathing and remind myself that I was safe in that present moment.

My mind stopped swirling.

The number one way I know that my anxiety is escalating is when my mind just won’t stop with swirling thoughts. They seem to only get louder and more pronounced the more I try to ignore them. So, when I finally sat down and talked it through, the clouds lifted, and I was able to think more clearly. I took away their power by voicing my fears and worries because I wasn’t holding them in anymore. Which leads me into the greatest perk of calming my anxiety, which is:

My creativity came back.

Anxiety causes us to be in constant fight-or-flight mode, where the body only focuses on survival tactics. Even anxiety about a non-life-threatening situation, like an important work meeting, can cause our body to go into survival mode. And when we are in fight- or-flight, our ability to access our creativity will be diminished.

This happened to me with my writing. I was stalling on writing and tried to work on one article for over two months. Usually when I get inspiration, I can sit down and write an article in a couple of hours. This was a major warning sign that I was not in balance, and I was letting fear take over.

When I got real with myself and voiced my anxiety, my creativity and this article quickly came to me, and I was able to find my voice once again.

I know that talking about anxiety can feel scary, especially if you have never done it. So here is a little grounding exercise I like to do before I talk about it or if my anxiety comes back:

Place your hand on your heart and close your eyes. Take a deep breath in and repeat to yourself, I am safe and loved. I am not my anxiety or my fears; they are not in control of me. I have the power to feel happy and free, and sharing my fears with someone I trust reminds me that I am not alone. I have all the support I need, and I will not let this fear take over.

Do your soul a favor and release yourself from the constraints of anxiety. This may not be a magic pill or what works for everyone, but I do know this: Talking about your anxiety will give you the relief you are seeking. Anxiety can be debilitating, but you don’t have to suffer. You have all the power to take back control and love your life again.