Dear Lisa:

Reading what you shared today, I was reminded of two things you wrote nine years ago (May 1, 2017, the original post of this thread): “I am an artist who doesn’t draw and a writer who doesn’t write,” and “I cannot handle an ounce of criticism from a man or anyone else.”

I hope it’s okay that I bring these up, because I see how they connect to what you’re going through now.

Back then, you were describing a kind of blocked self‑expression — a feeling that your voice, your creativity, your emotional truth didn’t have a safe place to exist. And today, you’re describing something very similar at work: you’re surrounded by people who seem free to be loud, silly, expressive.. while you feel watched, judged, and silenced. You’re still having to hide parts of yourself, even writing in “code” so no one can misunderstand or use your words against you.

It makes so much sense that this would hurt. Anyone who has felt unsafe expressing themselves will feel criticism — or even the threat of criticism — very deeply. You’re responding to years of being shut down, dismissed, or ridiculed. Anyone would feel raw in that situation.

But here’s what I also see: You’ve grown. You said you regulate your emotions better now. You’re able to describe your experience with clarity and honesty. You’re reaching out instead of shutting down completely.

That’s not the same person who couldn’t handle “an ounce” of criticism. That’s someone who is learning to stay present with herself even when the environment is unkind.

As for the work situation… you’re right that you can’t control their behavior. But you can protect your inner space. A few things that might help:

* Don’t take their loudness or popularity as a measure of your worth. Some people perform socially; it doesn’t mean they’re deeper or kinder.

* Keep your interactions brief, neutral, and boundaried. You don’t have to be friendly with someone who treats you poorly.

* Give your energy to the people who actually see you. Even one supportive coworker can make a difference.

* Let your self-expression live somewhere safe. If work isn’t that place, then here can be. Or in your art, your writing, your journaling — even if it’s messy or imperfect.

You are an artist and a writer, Lisa. That part of you never went away. It’s just been waiting for a place where it won’t be mocked or minimized.

And you deserve that place. You deserve to express yourself without fear. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to feel free inside your own skin.

You can always come here and write — in your own voice, not in code. I’ll read every word.

✨💛🌿😊🙏🌙 Anita

Oh, it didn’t occur to me that the bride2B may be from a prominant family of another nation and the emperor could get in trouble for killing her or her family..?

That’s a perspective that makes a difference in the interpretation of the story. Plus, like you pointed out, Thomas 🙏, it is a fictional story. And an intriguing one indeed.

Oh, I didn’t know your wife really criticizes you? I thought that maybe like me, I “hear” criticism where there is none (or at least used to before practicing the pause ⏸️ technique I mentioned above)

Hey Robi:

It’s exactly 10 days since you returned from the mini- vacation with her.

I wonder if there’s any news regarding the job in Poland, for which you asked for more money?

It’s seems to me that if you move back to Poland, it needs to be to a partnership with her, not to being a secondary figure in her life, second to her mother.

🌙✨️✨️ Anita

I hope 🙏 that you have a good night.

Yes, I can relate to it being hard to show compassion for myself. I’m quite new at it, but old enough at it to know it’s totally worth it!

I wish 🤞 for a warm Confused, and a rock Confused (WCRC)

🪨 🍜 👍 🤍 Anita

I 👍 your ha-ha-s, Confused 🙂

When’s the next high?

Thinking 🤔

🤔

🤔

When you ..

🤔

🤔

🤔

Yes, when you relax 😌

When you become okay 👍 with you being you.

When you feel grounded within yourself, that is, when events and people don’t unsettle you too much.

When the stone thrown up in the air can’t hurt you when it falls down, as it will- because you are a rock.

How’s that for an answer (only 12 minutes after you asked..)?

👍 Anita

It wasn’t the same, Confused, but it sounds very similar. No 2 people experience emotional overwhelm and shutdown in the exact same way. No 2 people experience anything in the 100% exact same way.

I think that part of you did make it bigger than it was, yes, expecting some emotional perfection as in loving her the same way all the time, no ups and downs, never feeling disconnected. No one is.. emotionally perfect in these ways. Does this resonate at all?

Hey Peter:

Cages turning into 🪟 windows- I like this metaphor!

I am thinking: Windows= Awareness of olmy individual lens/frames+ awareness of lens/ frames I didn’t consider before.

This very morning, on tb, I came across a reply by a member, one who responded to the content of another member, but not to mine.

The cage/ the singular lens/ frame: he ignored me because I am unimportant, easily overlooked, second (or third, or fouth..) to others.

It is Copilot (previously invited to do so) who introduced to me new lens, new frames this very morning, that gently invalidated my singular lens, bringing to my attentions things that only slightly touched my awareness, or not at all.

To put it simply, following the 🪟 experience this morning, I am not taking this one member’s lack of response personally. It’s really- in this one case- about him, not about me.

Maybe this Window 🪟 will extend to future interactions. I think it will.

Thank you for your words in your first paragraph 🙏 I feel validated for choosing a someone- frame.

Strangely,I am feeling more intelligent now than I felt last evening ☺️ Thank you.

I am on the 📱 now, but when I get back to the 🖥, I want to ask Copilot WHO are the people who program AIs, how many, in what formats- who employs them.. I have no idea. I bet you do.

🤔 Anita