Dear Arden:

I came across a poem yesterday, and I thought of sending it to you because it fits you:

“In the quiet of the night, where shadows play,     And the silence whispers what hearts cannot say,

Know that even in the darkest of days,     There’s a light within you, guiding your way.

Your heart feels heavy, burdened with care,     The weight of the world, too much to bear.

Yet in the midst of pain, there’s a spark,     A reminder that hope still ignites in the dark.

When love feels distant, and solace is scarce,     Remember, dear soul, you are strong and fierce.

In the echoes of doubt, find your inner voice,     A whisper of strength, a reason to rejoice.

Though the path seems lonely, you’re never alone,     For within you lies a courage well-known.

Take each step forward, with grace and with might,     For brighter tomorrows are born from this fight.

Let the tears flow freely, let the heart mend,     For in brokenness, there’s a chance to transcend.

Embrace the journey, with all that it brings,     For you are resilient, a soul with wings.

In the quiet of the night, hold on to your grace,     With each breath you take, find a serene space.

Know that you are cherished, valued, and dear,     And with each new dawn, let go of your fear.

May you find comfort in the love that remains,     In the strength of your spirit, despite the pains.

For you are a warrior, with a heart so true,     And brighter days will come, just for you.”

anita

Dear Jana:

You are welcome!  “I understand that you imply that I put myself in the fawn role. It might be true (?)“- no, I was not implying (that is, suggesting something indirectly), no. I did a study on the fawn response, and shared it with you (similarly to what I did earlier this very morning on your other thread: a study on another topic).

In my recent post on this thread, I looked at my own behavior and my mother’s in regard to the fawn response and left it up to you to see if any of the information applies to you (I was thinking in regard to the neighbor you shared about), if you cared to.

“I never tried to please her… I never agreed with anything negative she said. I corrected her when she gossiped others and I simply said that I had to leave when she didn’t stop her behaviour… I wanted to support her, not to please her“-

– doesn’t read like the fawn response in regard to your mother. You tried to help her.

“I didn’t agree with the other neighbour who fight against the landfill site here. Her way of solving conflicts includes arguing, creating drama, exerting pressure on others, manipulating others to fight for her side… that’s not for me“- no fawn response here when it comes to the neighbor either. You stood up for your position, not for hers.

“This is a note for me to remember / come back later to:…  to do:…”- I will leave this for you to return to later then.

“– A Message to Those Who Love Me –… My boyfriend I am very happy and lucky that I have a supportive and loving partner. Your life wasn’t easy. (life in poverty, beatings… Still, you never gave up… you never grew bitter. You are strong, stable and open-hearted…. Our dog… and you tried so hard to fetch me your favourite ball… Our cat You are the wisest of us all. Buddha cat. My little tiger…. From now, I’ll take better care of you all.“-

– This is BEAUTIFUL, Jana, Inspiring, thank you for sharing this here!

anita

Dear Rising Flower:

I want to better address your questions in this post:

* “Now, why I’m unable to move away from him despite he mistreated me several times…“?

Possible answers: (1) Emotional attachment can make it incredibly difficult to move away from someone, even when they mistreat you. This attachment is often rooted in deep emotional connections and past experiences that create a strong bond,

(2) The Hope that L might change or finally leave his marriage can keep you hanging on, despite the negative experiences.

(3) Sometimes, a lower sense of self-worth and the fear of being alone can contribute to staying in an unhealthy relationship.

* “Why I’m still waiting for him to turn up as he is genuinely taking time to break his marriage that he never wanted to be in”?

Possible answers: (1) Belief in His Promises: It’s natural to hold on to the belief that L will eventually follow through on his promises, especially if he has been convincing and manipulative.

(2) Emotional Investment: Having invested so much time and emotion into the relationship, it can be hard to let go and start over.

Final thoughts: It is important for you to recognize that your feelings are valid and that you have the strength and resilience to overcome this challenging period. Healing takes time, but taking small steps toward self-care and personal growth, you can create a better future for yourself.

Seeking support from a quality therapist or counselor can help you navigate this challenging situation. Building self-worth, setting healthy boundaries, and surrounding yourself with supportive people can also make a significant difference in your journey towards healing and finding a healthier relationship.

Here is a little poem for you: “Each step you take, each breath you draw,     Reveals the courage in your core.     For you are more than pain and fears,     A soul that shines through endless tears.    With every dawn, a chance to start,     To heal and mend your precious heart.     Embrace the love that lies within,     And let your journey now begin.

“For you are worthy, brave, and true,     A warrior spirit, through and through.     The road ahead may twist and bend,     But know your strength will never end.    So rise, dear heart, and take your place,     With grace and beauty, embrace the space.     For you are more than you can see, a Rising Flower”.

anita

Dear Jana:

“I love animals and I don’t think that they are on a lower level than we are“- I want to explore the idea that animals are on a lower level than humans, to conduct a study this morning. I figure it’d be okay with you, Jana (and please correct me if I am wrong) because I think it’d be helpful for me and for others, and you don’t have to read and/ or reply to it, so it shouldn’t be a burden for you..? 🙂

Study: Many animals exhibit remarkable intelligence, emotional depth, and social structures. For example, dolphins, elephants, and some primates have demonstrated self-awareness, problem-solving skills, and strong social bonds. But humans possess way more advanced cognitive abilities than other animals, including complex language, abstract thinking, a very, very advanced and fast-advancing technological capability as well as advanced social structures.

So, as far as cognitive abilities, social structures, and especially technology, animals are on a lower level.

Research has shown that the brain structures involved in emotions, such as the amygdala, are present in many animals, suggesting that they experience emotions in ways similar to humans. Rats have been found to exhibit empathy by freeing trapped companions. Elephants are known to show empathy and compassion, often comforting distressed members of their herd. Dolphins and dogs exhibit joy and playfulness, engaging in activities purely for fun. Chimpanzees and whales have been observed mourning the loss of their companions. Many animals experience fear and anxiety, which can be seen in their behavior during stressful situations.

Many people often perceive fish as non-feeling animals, largely due to a lack of visible emotional expressions and the perception that they have simpler nervous systems compared to mammals and birds. Unlike pets such as dogs and cats, fish are less interactive and harder to relate to emotionally. People often don’t have the same level of familiarity with fish behaviors. Fish lack facial expressions and vocalizations that are commonly associated with emotions in other animals, making it harder for people to recognize their emotional states. Historically, fish have been viewed primarily as food or commodities rather than sentient beings with emotional lives. For a long time, scientific research on fish emotions was limited. Recent studies have started to reveal the complexity of fish behaviors and their capacity for emotions, but this information is not yet widely known or accepted.

But studies have shown that fish can experience pain and stress. They have the necessary nervous system structures, including nociceptors (pain receptors), to feel pain. Fish also exhibit stress responses to adverse conditions, such as changes in water quality or the presence of predators. Fish demonstrate behaviors indicative of fear and anxiety. For example, they may hide, swim erratically, or display changes in coloration when threatened or stressed. Fish engage in various social behaviors, such as forming schools, establishing territories, and displaying courtship rituals. These behaviors suggest that fish can recognize and interact with other individuals, indicating a level of social awareness. Fish are capable of learning from their experiences and can remember specific locations, other fish, and even human caretakers. This ability to learn and remember implies a level of cognitive and emotional processing.

Understanding that fish can experience pain, stress, and other emotions has implications for how they are treated in various settings, such as fishing, aquaculture, and aquarium care. Ensuring the well-being of fish involves providing appropriate living conditions, minimizing stress, and handling them humanely.

In summary, while fish may not have emotions as complex as humans, they do exhibit behaviors and physiological responses that suggest they have basic emotional capacities. Recognizing their emotional lives can help us treat them with greater compassion and care.

About Sadism, defined as deriving pleasure from inflicting pain or suffering on others, is a complex behavior that is primarily associated with humans.  However, some animal behaviors might appear sadistic, though they are usually driven by survival instincts rather than deriving pleasure from causing pain. For example, domestic cats often play with their prey before killing it. While this might seem sadistic, it’s generally understood as a way for cats to practice their hunting skills and ensure the prey is incapacitated. In some cases, chimpanzees have been observed engaging in aggressive behaviors towards other chimpanzees or animals. These behaviors are usually related to social dominance, territorial disputes, or resource competition rather than deriving pleasure from causing pain, behaviors that are driven by instinctual needs such as hunting, social hierarchy, or survival. The concept of sadism, as understood in human psychology, involves a level of self-awareness and intent that is not typically attributed to animals.

Humans’ aggression is similar to the aggression of other animals when related to social dominance, territorial disputes, or resource competition, but it is more complex than animal aggression when it comes to motivations, such as ideology and revenge.

Humans have the cognitive ability to plan and execute aggressive acts with intent and forethought. This pre-meditation adds a layer of complexity to human aggression. Social conditioning, media, and upbringing influence how and when individuals express aggression. Human aggression can manifest in numerous forms, including physical violence, verbal abuse, psychological manipulation, and cyberbullying.

Verbal abuse (using shaming, derogatory words), guilt-tripping, cyberbullying are not forms of animal aggression, but of human aggression, which is more complex in its forms of expression.

Because of human technological superiority, human aggression, and greed, result in massive, global destruction: violent crime, gangs, corruption, terrorism, wars.. physical injuries and deaths of millions of people.. destruction of natural resources, pollution, illnesses related to pollution, climate change disasters, and more.

In summary, human aggression involves higher cognitive processes, including planning, abstract thinking, and moral judgment. It is deeply influenced by social and cultural factors, whereas animal aggression is more instinctual and biologically driven. It is more straightforward and related to survival needs.

Many religious traditions place humans above animals, often viewing humans as having dominion over animals. This belief can be traced back to ancient texts and teachings, such as Genesis 1:26-28 (NIV): “Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ So God created mankind in his own image… God blessed them and said to them, ‘… fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground”-

Anthropocentrism is the belief that human beings are the central or most significant entities in the world. This perspective often leads to the devaluation of non-human life and ecosystems, and animals have traditionally been viewed as commodities rather than sentient beings with intrinsic value. The rise of industrial farming and mass production has further reinforced the notion of animals as resources to be exploited for human benefit. In modern, urbanized societies, people are often disconnected from nature and the animals within it. This disconnection can lead to a lack of empathy and understanding of the sentience and emotional lives of animals.

Animal rights and welfare movements advocate for the recognition of animals’ intrinsic value and their right to live free from suffering and exploitation. These movements have helped raise awareness and change attitudes towards animals. Increasing scientific research on animal cognition, behavior, and emotions has revealed the complexity and richness of animal lives, leading to a greater appreciation of their intrinsic value.

– End of Study, and back to your post:

“I read this thought: “The doctrine of karma implies that souls are reborn as animals because of past misdeeds. Being reborn as an animal is a serious spiritual setback…“– I did the above study before reading this line

“I love this idea much more: Buddhists see human and non-human animals as closely related: * both have Buddha-nature… I do respect animals. I’ve always had a close relationship with them. And even though I don’t call myself vegetarian (because when somebody offers meat to me for lunch/dinner, I accept it.), I don’t like eating meat. It feels bad…“- I live in a area where many people raise cows and I often walk by them. As I do, sometimes they stop what they are doing and stare at me walking, creating eye-contact. Because I often walk the same route, I see calves as they grow up. I know that they are raised for food (like you, I accept meat (beef) when offered to me, but I don’t seek it and hardly ever it .. maybe I’ll stop altogether), but walking by them for years now, they are indeed sentient beings: Conscious, Aware, Perceptive, Feeling animals.. like me.

anita

Inspirational/ comforting words:

“In the quiet of the night, where shadows play,     And the silence whispers what hearts cannot say,

Know that even in the darkest of days,     There’s a light within you, guiding your way.

Your heart feels heavy, burdened with care,     The weight of the world, too much to bear.

Yet in the midst of pain, there’s a spark,     A reminder that hope still ignites in the dark.

When love feels distant, and solace is scarce,     Remember, dear soul, you are strong and fierce.

In the echoes of doubt, find your inner voice,     A whisper of strength, a reason to rejoice.

Though the path seems lonely, you’re never alone,     For within you lies a courage well-known.

Take each step forward, with grace and with might,     For brighter tomorrows are born from this fight.

Let the tears flow freely, let the heart mend,     For in brokenness, there’s a chance to transcend.

Embrace the journey, with all that it brings,     For you are resilient, a soul with wings.

In the quiet of the night, hold on to your grace,     With each breath you take, find a serene space.

Know that you are cherished, valued, and dear,     And with each new dawn, let go of your fear.

May you find comfort in the love that remains,     In the strength of your spirit, despite the pains.

For you are a warrior, with a heart so true,     And brighter days will come, just for you.”

anita

Dear Mahvash:

You are very welcome, and thank you for expressing your appreciation- which I am touched by! It is just a matter of time before you see the ray of light again and stand strong. I hope that it’d be sooner than later. I am here for you!

anita

Dear Mahvash:

The name you chose is derived from Persian, where “mah” means “moon” and “vash” is a suffix meaning “like” or “resembling.” Thus, Mahvash translates to “moon-like” or “as beautiful as the moon.”

The moon is often associated with beauty, tranquility, and a gentle light that guides through darkness. Therefore, the name Mahvash conveys a sense of elegance, beauty, and calmness.

You wrote two days ago: “even in the group of people I feel I am the worst person who have no smile and happiness“- may you see the gentle light within you once again, and may it lead you through the current darkness in your marriage. Please do return here, to your thread, anytime you’d like to share about the darkness around and the light and beauty within you.

anita

correction:  Can you define the words/ terms I boldfaced above, as in giving your personal,  authentic, clear, simple-to-understand definitions of…