I’m sorry that things are so difficult for you and your loved ones at the moment.

I agree that one day, one moment at a time is a good strategy.

I find that gratitude practice is really helpful for appreciating life even when it has difficulties. It is really hard to do when things are difficult at first, so I skipped the rough days. Eventually, it does get easier though and it opens up to seeing the good even on bad days.

It isn’t a quick fix. But in time, it helps.

Another thing that I found to be helpful is to practice mindfulness during an activity that I enjoy. For example, walking the dogs. Focusing on that moment, putting one foot in front of the other, looking at the trees, seeing the dogs enjoy themselves. It helps to ground me. If worries creep in that is okay but back to focusing on the moment when I notice. It is important to take time for ourselves when we can.

You deserve to be happy Anita! I think you’re a really special person. I believe in you! ❤️

Hi Anita

I think that being scared is okay. They are your loved ones and it shows that you care. I’m sure if things get worse people will be allowed to leave Israel and take shelter in other countries. Perhaps it might be worth discussing this with them and figuring out how to plan for something like that?

Being there for them is more than enough.

Has the depressed person ever hurt themselves or anything before? Do they drink? Are they experiencing any significant life changes?

It is sad to see people that you care about hurting. Remember to take a break and take care of yourself when you need it. You cannot help others if you burn out. ❤️

Hi Britney

I guess, I’ve always dated other people who have their own traumatic experiences. So no one has really judged me.

I’ve always I always dated people after being friends with them for a while first and been open about my PTSD. No, I’ve never taken a partner to my individual therapy. I hear that some people do if they have something that they want to discuss.

Is there a reason that you are asking these questions? Do you have any concerns about these things in your own life? ❤️

Hi Omyk

Congratulations on all of the professional success! It sounds like you’ve been incredibly busy. I can imagine that cramming the socialising of 4-5 months into such a short period whilst you are stressed being so busy is a bit overwhelming.

It’s another time, where you pushed your needs aside to get on with the task at hand. Well done on taking care of your responsibilities and providing for yourself and your family, but I hope that you can find some time to unwind a little somehow after all of that. You’ve worked really hard and deserve to relax after all of that. ❤️

I feel like work socialization is pretty surface level unless you particularly trust and click with someone. What do you think? You seem like you have a rich inner life which you might not necessarily share with colleagues?

What are you ideally looking for in socialization? Emotional support? To discuss your inner world? Something else? What kind of people do you enjoy spending time with?

I feel like it is harder to socialize as an adult. Everyone has their own busy lives. It takes time to build a strong connection with people, if they want it. A lot of people don’t have the time.

Good luck on your journey exploring all of this! ❤️

Hi Peter

I feel like a lack of self-compassion is very common these days. It is true, compassion and self-compassion are inherently joined. I think it is really important to work on self-compassion which will inevitably lead to developing compassion towards others.

Thank you for sharing such excellent quotes, as always! ❤️

Hi Anita

More war is never good news.

It is honestly okay to let that love go.

I understand it is truly horrible to experience and so frightening. The lack of love, remorse and care is something that no child should have to experience, let alone from a parent. There are no excuses.

Forgiveness is not about your mother at all. It is about you. Freeing yourself from the pain of your past.

Feeling the feelings as they arise, expressing them and letting them go. You are already doing the right thing and everything that is necessary for you to do to heal. Just keep living your journey, let it flow and ease. ❤️

Hi Genesis

Bless your soul, wanting to work on your marriage and get past these difficulties. ❤️

I’m glad to hear that he apologised, but I understand that it takes some time to work through these kinds of difficulties. Pain can linger.

Did he ever explain why he freaked out and broke up with you early on dating?

Hmm, the rating of 7/10 and saying that he wasn’t attracted to you in the past seem like mixed messages to me. The way I understand these things is that a 7 out of 10 is attractive and usually personal compatibility will boost that. I don’t know if that makes sense?

I can understand why what he said hurts. But I get the impression that he is talking about something very specific and isn’t communicating very well. This is just my guess. It sounds like being married to you made him feel secure in ways that he didn’t feel before.

I’m so sorry to hear that a groomsman spoiled your wedding by saying such horrible things. That’s truly awful. No wonder it is hard to let go of, it is such a special occasion and it was the foundation of your marriage. Not a good way to start things off at all.

It sounds like your husband has had a lot of personal issues that aren’t really related to you. It seems like he’s unfairly dumped some stuff on your plate by falsely attributing it to you. Does he have depression or anything?

Marriage is a scary prospect for a lot of people. It is not a decision to be made lightly. It sounds like he had a lot of insecurity. But this doesn’t mean it says anything bad about you.

Every relationship has it’s ups and downs. Couples argue, it is normal. It sounds like he has reached out to other people to vent after an argument and said some stupid (pardon my French) things when he was upset. He might have been trying to keep these fears away from you to protect you because he wasn’t actually serious about them but was just trying to work through his feelings without bothering you. People do things like this when they struggle with managing their own feelings by themselves. It is still really painful and not easy to deal with though.

Yes, it does sound like he tries to avoid problems to keep the peace. He may not be intending to hurt you. He may be trying in his own way to protect you, as well as himself from his mistakes. Sometimes men don’t understand that the best way is just to spit it out. They are often afraid of dealing with emotions. Whereas women are taught to communicate.

As a regular poster, I don’t talk about my personal relationships publicly out of respect for their feelings. If you would like to talk in more detail, please feel free to email me.

tbthrowaway64@gmail.com

The difficulty with couples counselling is that it tends to be for couples who are breaking up. Both parties also need to be incredibly open for such a thing to be helpful. Do you feel like couples counselling is helping so far?

Personally, I found that an individual therapist was very helpful for processing difficulties with relationships. As long as you are clear with your wishes to heal and grow the relationship, they would be able to help guide you in that process.

I don’t know if you have experienced any difficulties in your past outside of the relationship? Or do you experience anxiety in other areas of life at all? In the past or currently?