Hi Anita

I know what you mean about feeling old when you were young. I was the same. I’m glad that all of your hard work has paid off for you and it leaves you feeling younger than ever. You deserve it! Reclaim your youth. 😊

I love the natural look! ❤️ I agree, aging is a beautiful and natural part of life. It is wonderful to hear you owning your confidence.

I don’t really have many thoughts about aging. I didn’t ever really think I would live past 30 or have a child. I am going grey already. My biological mother went grey quickly too. Happy to be here. 🙏

Hi Anita

Your message was truly beautiful and touched my heart, thank you! ❤️

You are a dreamer, a thinker, a seeker of peace, a lover of stories, a person who sings and dances simply because it brings joy. 💃🕺🎶

I hope you don’t mind if I use this as an affirmation?

Hi Lunar

Happy Anniversary!

It sounds like you’re in a really difficult situation overall. I think anyone who moves to a different country where they don’t speak the language would be having a hard time. The isolation from your support network in your home country and the lack of one in this new country must be really challenging. Not to mention being overwhelmed by two (pardon my French) crappy jobs and a shared living space.

The difficulties with your partner are the icing on the cake. I think you need to be honest with her about how you feel. It is up to you whether you want to keep trying or not.

It does sound like you need to set some boundaries with your partner. She can’t decide who you get to be friends with. In this new country, you need any friends you can make. It is detrimental to your mental health the kind of isolation you are experiencing. Make it clear that you care about her and reassure her fears. It might go down better?

I wouldn’t take the face comment personally. I know people that make comments like this. In my experience, people are usually worried that you might be upset with them.

If she doesn’t want you to be sad, there are things she can do to help rather than just say that. Being clear about the things that would actually help could be helpful. Having your boundaries respected is part of that.

What kinds of rules does she recommend for going back to your home country?

Sometimes life is hard. It is up to you whether you want to try to work through it together or decide that enough is enough. There is no wrong answer here. ❤️

Hi Anita

Thank you for your support, as always! ❤️

The difficulty is that sometimes life isn’t fair. People are in unfair situations all of the time and they have to make the best of it. I was a child and I didn’t choose the situation. I tried my best and made mistakes because I was a child living in extremely difficult circumstances. I might not have liked my brother, but I cared about him. He didn’t deserve the abuse he got. I didn’t want him to be harmed. It wasn’t my fault that things were the way they were. If we had been born to someone else things would’ve been very different.

I’ve had a think about sense of self. It’s complicated. I am in a bit of a survival mode, it’s true. I don’t have the time for anything else. With my conditions, the amount of self-care that would help I’m simply not able to do. I have to prioritise my son. I’m an adult, I can cope with difficulties. I’m not willing to let him down. I just do what I can when I can.

It’s difficult because I have always been a dreamer. Yet, I’m forced to be practical by my circumstances. I don’t begrudge this. It is just life.

In some cases, it seems like I do have a sense of self. In others, not so much. My perspective is easily influenced by others. Being comfortable with my own opinions would be nice.

I’ve learned to cope with a lot. I enjoy food. Asian dramas are strangely relaxing. I love a good story. Asian philosophy helps me. Sleep.

I don’t know. I really do think that helping makes the world go round. But helping can be anything. There isn’t really escaping it.

I really like calm and peace. And seeing people happy. These things make me feel safe.

I like singing and dancing even though I’m not good at them. Meditation, yoga. The outdoors.

I like thinking, but I know it is counterproductive sometimes. Trying to rein it in. I guess like anyone else, I feel happy when my needs are met. I feel seen and cared for.

I do think that positive affirmations might be helpful. Part of me is afraid of them. They have always made me uncomfortable.

Thank you for being there and listening. 🙏