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Allumena

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • in reply to: Family Problems/ Health problems.Help Please! #235593
    Allumena
    Participant

    Thank you very much, I will try and do my best.

    in reply to: Family Problems/ Health problems.Help Please! #235421
    Allumena
    Participant

    I hardly ever see anyone any more other than my parents. I miss the past so much most of the memory’s are happy except those few times. I got to see my sister my friends other family members. If I’m lucky now a days I see them maybe maybe once a month.

    in reply to: Family Problems/ Health problems.Help Please! #235289
    Allumena
    Participant

    When he gets mad and yells at me I feel hatred and very much hurt, I don’t think I have ever loved him in my entire life. I try not to take it personally but it so so hard when it happens every single day. He usually says something like,… well its hard to explain what he says depends on the situation like if I don’t do something fast enough or don’t do it right like this morning he said something like ” who opened the chickens?” then I said ” I did” then he said ” well the gate was closed” then I said” but I had it open” then he said something like ” ah geez” and he walked away and I know he did not believe me at all he never does. Next time he yells at me I will give you the sentence, it happens so often that I cant remember them right now, which is weird because I can’t think of one. I’m just not sure how much more of him I can take, or how to deal with him.

    in reply to: Family Problems/ Health problems.Help Please! #235175
    Allumena
    Participant

    How do I start  to be more independent?

    When I read a book I don’t just read it I like to imagine the characters and the where they are at and so on for a lot of books I can’t do that so I lose interest. A book about a dog called Saving Zasha I could imagine what is going on, really well.

    I guess my fear is not of driving but of my dad, like he does every time when I do something, while I’m driving with him because I’m sure that will happen I’m afraid he will get mad at me if I did not do something right or I did not go in time and now we have to wait for the light or whatever it is.

    in reply to: Family Problems/ Health problems.Help Please! #235073
    Allumena
    Participant

    I do not know how to meditation, although I wish to learn.

    I know I should think differently about how I go about my day but that’s so hard, when I’m thinking how much I want to get away and stop doing this and do something I love, something different.

    Yes I have. Horses, Dogs, and Cats have always amazed me they are so beautiful they are my passion yet I can get to any of them (expect the one I have…. which I am very grateful for)

    My fears are mostly learning to drive and  driving and my dad I’m quite scared of him.

    I don’t really like reading unless I can imagine with the book and what and see what is going on through my mind…. I can understand it, so to say.

    What do you mean by “What you are interested in may be there beyond the fears.”

     

    in reply to: Family Problems/ Health problems.Help Please! #235029
    Allumena
    Participant

    I’m not really sure, hope…. I guess, Ideas of what to do.

    I wake up, take care of the animals and the chickens…. let them out, feed them, collect and wash eggs, then I do school work for a while. On the weekends we go over to a friends place to take care of some fish we drain the fish tanks and fill with clean water. They are big fish in a big tank so it take awhile. If it’s nice out and we all have the time we split wood.

    Every single day/week

    That’s my life, literally … pretty boring.

    Occasionally if I get lucky I go some where or do something different.

    My parents and adult friends are wandering when I’m going to  learn to drive they keep asking not all the time but here and there, I say to them I’m not ready, truth is I’m scared to death to be driving a car, the way my mind is thinking who knows what could happen. When I come of age to drive one what do I do, there is something that will not let me.

    There probably are few people who feel this way I don’t know but, I feel like the world does not want me to get better, it just keeps getting worse one thing after the other. I really am sick of living like this, I want something different I just don’t know how.

    in reply to: Family Problems/ Health problems.Help Please! #234997
    Allumena
    Participant

    I’m actually home schooled.

    I don’t think so?

    I need some Ideas, something… some sort of help.

    Is there anything you can recommend, I don’t know what to do obviously no one in my life is really trying to get help except me but I don’t know what else to do I’ve looked for answers, there hard to find. I have been seeing a certain doctor, but I’m not getting any better… I’ve gotten worse, I have tried to tell people but they just don’t seem to get it, no one will listen they don’t do very much about it. I have looked up websites where people can get some answers or help or something thing, anything thing, this site came up for me. I’m lost, confused, and hurting.

    in reply to: Family Problems/ Health problems.Help Please! #234987
    Allumena
    Participant

    Not really, and I don’t know why. One reason is we don’t have a lot of money.

    He makes me go places with him, do things I’m not really sure how to explain it. I’m scared to be around him.

    I was very little when he hit me, I remember it very well don’t know what age though maybe 5 or 7 maybe younger. My mom was in the middle my dad was in the drivers seat of a truck I was on the other side, we went moving. I must have done something to really make him want make me quiet that he reached over and hit me.

    When I do something wrong or make a mistake or don’t understand him he yells its different every time he says it, some times bad word.

    Every day feels the same to me when I wake up, I have this routine everyday every week and I’m so sick of it and I don’t know how to change it, I hardly get out very much.

    If it wasn’t for this beautiful animal I met a year ago and adopted I might have not been alive today……… he pretty much saved my life…….. he is like the only friend I got.

    I’m just not sure what to do anymore. That’s why I came here.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)