hello belle,

delete his phone number from your phone IMMEDIATELY.

buy a copy of the book “he’s just not that into you”, read it and stop initiating contact with him.

belle, there is nothing for you to be confused about.  he is not interested in you and probably never has been.  it is amazing the fantasies we can dream up.  they feel so real we somehow waste hours, years, and in my case, decades obsessing about someone who probably never cared for us that way in the first place.  it feels like love, and if we can only get him to sign up for our dream we can finally live get married, have children, etc.

in reality it becomes a habit, but it seems like true love.  in our case instead of tying a bow around the memory and filing it where it belongs in our brain and getting on with our real lives, it seems so real that we almost think it could happen.  which is  really unfortunate because we don’t realize that we are to some degree putting our lives on hold.   when you are my age, you will see this as stupid on steroids.

so now, you are trying so hard to fit this guy into your imaginary ever after that  you don’t see that there is nothing to be confused about.  you just aren’t paying any attention to what this guy is saying and doing.

the way you describe the kisses and making out makes sense if you are teenagers but not at all if you are both adults.  because an adult man does not kiss–stop–kiss stop if he has any interest in the woman.  if he has any interest he will not go silent and back pedal all the way to cleveland, he will already be where he wants to be.

i’m sorry belle.  the good news is you really wonder why you  squandered even a minute on a guy who probably would never live up to your fantasies anyway.  if you pull out now, there might be a chance that you will see him on a street some day and laugh about the play you tried so hard to cast him in.  no matter what, he sounds like a decent guy who is trying to be nice and isn’t giving you a bone so much as you are trying to extricate one from him.

stop now please.  the longer you insist on him playing out a script he neither wants or needs, the more humiliated you will feel when you force him to voice how much he needs this to stop.

please forgive, it is my intent to get you out of this now.  i am sorry but i don’t understand why you all don’t just date in the first place, i don’t understand why anybody would hang out because it really doesn’t fit with what either men or women really want.

good luck and god bless.  you  will be allright, really.