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likegreenlover

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  • in reply to: Seeing my ex with the girl he left me for … #150606
    likegreenlover
    Participant

    John, sadly there is no way to block myself from seeing her profile unless she does it herself which is unlikely as i’m sure she wants me to see them together . I’m sorry to hear you went through something similar as i know how painful it is. It sucks and i do a pretty good job at holding myself back from looking but it will pop up either she’ll comment on a mutual friends post or it’ll suggest for me to see her photo. It hurts so badly to see but i try to tell myself that everything happens for a reason and bigger better things will hopefully come my way soon.

    in reply to: Seeing my ex with the girl he left me for … #150528
    likegreenlover
    Participant

    Anita,

     

    Thank you, i agree. I somewhat believe this needed to happen (minus the cheating) because i agree, i was too close with his family and he probably viewed me as a member of it. With all of us on his back i was the only one he could cut, so he did. I think we both need to be apart and mature and find ourselves and experience single adult life before getting married , which was our next step. I personally have grown 100% and learned things about myself. Ive become more confident , outgoing, and met so many new people. I also have learned to have more empathy for others and have become a nicer person. I try my hardest to live my happy life and move forward but i still get sad at times looking back. I just hope that maybe one day when he’s matured and found himself he’ll choose to be with me, and we can come together stronger and ready to have a healthy relationship after getting to experience life apart from each other. I think us being together since so young (17&15) , we need to learn who we are as individual adults . Hopefully this time will give us that and maybe down the line he’ll decide that we can try again, this time knowing what life is like without each other and knowing who we are as individuals.

     

    Thank you so much for listening, it really really helps me to take a step back and see it from a different view.

    in reply to: Seeing my ex with the girl he left me for … #150516
    likegreenlover
    Participant

    Sorry i know that’s a long reply, i just never have anyone to talk to about this. I hate that i still love him so much after what he did to me. I hate that i still hope this is a phase and he comes back. I hate knowing he loves someone else and stopped loving me so suddenly. I hate that i did not see this coming and didn’t want this. I hate knowing everyone but him wants us to end up together. I wish i could talk to him and understand what happened. All i got was a 5 minute phone call saying he loves me and always will but that we need to break up.

    in reply to: Seeing my ex with the girl he left me for … #150506
    likegreenlover
    Participant

    Anita,

    Yes reading it does show me that there were obvious problems. To be honest previous years were great, if im being completely honest with myself i noticed a change in him on his 21st birthday in April (we broke up in November). Once he turned 21 his focus was on drinking and partying (fine with me im not controlling) but it seemed like it was becoming unhealthy and his parents thought so too.  The thing that bothers me is that before his 21st he was a very very family oriented man, we enjoyed spending time with his family and little sisters rather than going out and partying, everyone used to joke about how we were already a little married couple. I guess him partying at this age is normal but he really did a 180 so suddenly and went from not wanting to go a day without talking to me to one day completely cutting all communication with me. I never in a million years thought he of all people would do anything like this and nigher did his family or mine, we were all in shock at his sudden charater change. I feel bad for him in a way because his grandma (whom hes very close with) apparently went off on him one day when she heard what he had did. His family beats him up about it all the time and hates his new girlfriend. Shes not even allowed at their house. She has a reputation of being a gold digger and he makes very good money and bought her a louis vutton purse for their two month anniversary (shes only 19). This hurt me because i was never with him for his money and always encouraged him to work hard and save up for our house (which we would buy equally). Whic is one of the reasons the family does not like her, that and the fact that she knew he had a girlfriend and cheated with her. His mother sadly plays favors me and tells him all the time to break up with her which probably makes hi hate me seeing how all his family chooses my side.

    His new girl friend has a party girl reputation which i guess is why he loves her, i’m very “old” for my age, i do not drink smoke or party. I just hate that there wasnt ever a break up conversation if that makes sense? I dont know why? I hate that it was just a sudden ending of communication, and that i fear seeing him. I wish we could at least be civil, i get invited to his family events but dont go in fear of seeing him. I dont know what ill do when i finally run into him one day as stupidly i still love him and hope that this is a partying phase and that hell end up coming back.

    in reply to: Seeing my ex with the girl he left me for … #150498
    likegreenlover
    Participant

    Anita,

    We had been fighting more often, mostly about his drinking. He is newly 21 and drinking was becoming more and more often and myself and his parents were worried. We’d fight about his drinking habits and more recently would fight about him not wanting to spend time with me. I would sleepover 3-4 times a week but he’d leave all night to gamble and home home around 2AM once if already been asleep . So yes arguing was pretty frequent but we’d been through worse in previous years.

     

     

     

    Also a side note: they met at work, when she started working there he told me how immature she was & how he thought she wan an “idiot” so she was no threat to me

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