Hi Anita,

Yes, I do agree with you that habits are hard to break and that is where I feel lost. I understand my behavior but by the time I realize it, its late what I feel.

Please do share how did you break a habit specially when you have a person living in your mind more than actually living with you

Amrita

Hi Anita,

Yes, u are right as a child I did wonder

where have I gone wrong or what is that

I should do so that my mother is happy with

me!!and honestly even today it is the same

case I still think about whatever decision I

make if my mother is with me will she approve

or appreciate the decision or what will I

answer /reason if she says she does not like

it .

The same with him I guess ,but yes there

not been a single text or call where in

he texts or says something that later

When I think over hurts me !!
but the moment I calm down with the

thoughts i again go back to the same cycle

of talking and liking him!!

what are the ways I could stop getting repeatedly in the same cycle!!

I understand that if I don’t change myself

it’s troubling me!!!but all I learn to do is

adjust along with the pain but unable to

break!!

Amrita

Hi Anita,

Yes a long distance one presently,

ie I don’t meet him often in person

but I do remain in contact with him over

calls or texts.I would say the frequency

of this  would be a call once a week and

if he is extremely busy it once in 15days

or even a month. I never initiate a call

or message from my end it is always from

his end.We do meet up may be once

for half a day or a day every six months.

The statement I made in regard to not understanding what I feel with him is

that if  you ask me what is that I get

being with him or from this relationship

is that I know understand that this

particular relationship actually will

never be a one that would last long as

he has made it very clear that he

would always choose his family over me

but I am still in the relationship.He never

has said that I mean a lot to him or I am

his world ..but yes he would always say that

i trust and love u a lot don’t break the trust

I have in you..

hope I was able to clarify what I meant

to say…

incase you still feel I am a bit unclear

do let me know….

Amrita

Hi Anita,

The emptiness I feel is unexplainable to say

I am a divorcee ,I do not have children but in a relationship with a happily married man, who is ten years younger having two kids and who is extremely devoted to his parents and family.

I was staying in the same house along with my mother but moved to a different location a year back.

As a child I would say I almost did everything that my mother would ask me to do like she always wanted me to learn dance and despite me being a very shy person and disliking dance I used to attend the classes. She was never satisfied with my academic performance for which I used to put in extremely long hours of study though the performance never improved. I never selected my clothes to wear as she always felt I dress inappropriately so it was easier for me to just allow her select clothes for me. Honestly slowly I developed a habit of doing the opposite of what she asked me to do and anything she ask me to do I would react with a negative answer.

Presently I would say I do not do anything for her approval but the only reason I felt I moved for work out of work was that she would be happy/proud of me as I am able to do something for myself on my own without depending on her.

Amrita