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Amy

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  • #321883

    Amy
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    I dont do it on purpose , i dont leave him just because he left me at that one time , i really  love him so much so that despite he ill treating me and disrespecting me i still get back to him. I have tried a lot to stay with him , but when he keeps doing the same stuff , he keeps taking ill about my character, takes me for granted always keeps saying that i had a boy friend before him and iam his first he wants to try others , and always doubts me. He trusts others more than me. I have so many things thats inside me that keeps me anxious and i want to share with him so that we can solve our problems and get ahead but he runs away from all this.

    I have been in an emotional turmoil , i am not happy with him , i love him and i am so used to talking to him every day that now when i finally blocked him i feel empty from inside. I still dont know if should go back to him and leave him completely

     

    Regarding my anger, iam angry and mad at him because he cant say rubbish about me and questions my character and assumes that i  have been into physical relation with my friends this is a very big allegation and questioning my love. Then he will say sorry and come back again ? I feel bad that the person whom i love overthinks a lot about me , he is really sweet to his friends but when it comes to me he speaks bull shit, All the things that has happened between me and him has built that anger in me , i wasnt like this before. I feel that iam losing myself , a part of me wants the support that i dont get from him.

     

    I dont know if i should continue or let it go

    #321875

    Amy
    Participant

    Hi K,

    I hope you are feeling better today. Look the point is if you are so committed to a person so much this is your strength keep you should be happy that you have the courage to love even in today’s scenario. Leaving you was his weakness and iam sure you dont want to stay with  a weak man, you deserve much more. You deserve some one who can love you take care of you and is ready to be with you throughout your life, You need to let go off him to gain you. you are more important that anything in this world , try to re gain your connection with you soul again , your soul needs to be loved again and in future never ever leave your connection with your soul because thats the thing that will serve you for life. No man is more important than you are to yourself. I am also going through the same situation wherein my case i want to leave the guy because he is not sure about me for future he just loves me in the present , he doest respects me and iam not treated i love him with all my might but like you i have to make a strong decision. In this world there is no place for any weak person , i know right now you must be going through hell but trust me this phase is important in your life so that you can come out to be a stronger and a much better person

     

    I would suggest that you start reading self help books , every day look in the mirror and feel proud about yourself , look at you , you are such a nice person who is full of love and a beautiful person. You need to love yourself the most and know your worth if you dont know your worth how do you expect other people to know your worth. He is not worth your love because he himself doesnt know what he wants in his life  he is a confused person iam sure you dont want to stay with such man who cannot see the greatness in you

    You are an independent smart women , you are strong enough to get up every day embrace your feelings and go to work, not every one can do that. Just focus on your work, if opportunity closes universe is making a way for another one be ready to welcome that. Make new friends, go out with them dont enclose yourself , develop a hobby distract your mind , do yoga and travel , go on a trip even if it means going alone stay in hostels you will meet different people with different stories , love whats around you find love in every thing that you see feel and touch it can include food , you , your dogs , nature. Start finding yourself again , you will come out to be the best version of you.

     

     

     

    #321679

    Amy
    Participant

    Hi Luff,

    Thank you so much for your reply, i actually felt so much better after reading the reply you gave. You are right if i let him go for once i will be a happier person , i feel that in these past three years now i have lost myself, i need to regain the old me. Get back to normal life. I have to be strong and take control of my life. The point is i am so emotionally dependent on him , he has a deep impact on my soul and my heart , i feel i have lost a connection from my soul. I have realised now that i shouldn’t be so close to any one in which i could lose a connection from my soul.

    I want to value myself but something pulls me back to him, its feels difficult to stay without him. I have my own business i keep myself busy in that but still half of my mind is into him , i feel that the person whom i loved so much i will have to let go off him its the toughest thing to do , and i have to do it because i have been so hurt , iam sure even he might not be happy of me going away from him but i cant let him keep hurting me, i gave him chances but again same old thing. I am also not perfect i also make mistakes i have realised that i get really angry at him because i just get irritated with him , when i try to explain my feelings to him he is like you keep crying all the time and he runs away from it. Suddenly he shows interest when he knows that iam parting away but yet again when i give in he starts his whole thing again. Its not easy to leave some one whom you love the most but i guess its for the best.

    I would just want to know how can i move on from all this and get back to normal person , i dont want to take so much time but i know i have to heal myself. please suggest ways of healing myslef

     

     

    #321661

    Amy
    Participant

    Hi Inky,

    I try doing that , i try not talking to him but after couple of days i melt. I also have a fear of losing him. If i stop talking to him for couple of months i am scared what if he never calls back or what if he leaves me . Its been few days that i have stopped talking to him but he keeps calling me and out 10 calls i pick up one, it melts me because i cant see him upset i feel bad when he cries. There are certain things that stops me being with him , i am so stuck up at past with him , i want to forget it but every time something or the other crops up and then again he is sorry.  But i want to be strong i know for a fact that if i still continue with all this i will lose a part of me and hurt myself even more. I have loved him more than anything but whats the point if i feel all this in a bad way.

    I really want to get out of all this, want to experience different things now iam tired of feeling this way. I dont know how should i do it.

     

     

    #321657

    Amy
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    First Of all thank you so much for reading my post , i really appreciate it. Being the centre of attraction is not the only thing , look i dont mind if we are in a group and we are involved with other people , even i am involved  with other people , its just that he keeps saying stuff like look at her she socialises with every one unlike you this is just an example , he keeps nagging me. This is all just a part of it, mostly i feel that he doesnt respect me. Like he told my friend that i just have had one girl friend i wanted two or three more to experience. i felt bad because i thought he just told me this so i thought  he was joking but he is not. There are so many things anita but i feel bad you know to keep listing all of those becuase i dont want to complain about any one.

     

    I just dont know what to do , i have felt really miserable at times , he doesnt even realise what he does. He just says sorry i dont talk to him but he becomes really upset which makes me really melt down and i start talking to him

     

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 1 day ago by  Amy.
Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)