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Bina

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • November 29, 2015 at 6:33 pm #88521
    Bina
    Participant

    Hello, I happen to come across your post. I went true a similar experience lasting close to 12 months ago. It was in the beginning exciting, than it became very painful. I also thought we had a connection. Looking back I can’t believe it was me excepting crumps from this individual. Deep down I think my reason for tolerating his behavior I thought he was my soulmate. The missing link to an unavailable father. I want to thank you for your post, it help me look at myself and learn to honor myself. Bina

    November 24, 2015 at 4:02 pm #88242
    Bina
    Participant

    Hello Anita, I was married for 22 years. My marriage had added issues being two different cultures and looking back it was a unhealthy marriage. I didn’t have good role model’s growing up, not an excuse, I made the choice. There were so many things I had to work true growing up with an alcoholic father that was abusive toward my mother. As for myself I turned myself upside down to please until there was nothing left but a shell. Ill matched from the beginning, and love doesn’t conquer all. I left, and now we both have a life. We can change and compromise only to certain degree, before we loose ourselves. I think it’s important to enjoy doing things together as a couple, and also both have individual interest’s. I’m not fluent in English I hope you can understand my reply. In the past I have always enjoyed your reply’s. We can’t change others, and sometimes the kindest thing to do, is let go. Bina

    November 24, 2015 at 4:37 am #88219
    Bina
    Participant

    Hello, I’m new to this. This is for Anita, your reply showed no empathy what so ever. Are you married?

    March 24, 2015 at 2:06 am #74348
    Bina
    Participant

    I like what you said Marshmallow. One of the things that has helped me to take the focus of me. 1. Take a walk in nature, 2. Take the focus of me, and put it onto somebody else. A stranger, friend, family member, with a smile, a compliment, asked about their day, or is there anything I can do to help. 3. Find gratitude in the good things in your life. There a lots of good things, we are all here on a journey. And a statement I heard from another fellow traveler, ” Can I leave the world a better place “

    March 6, 2015 at 10:51 pm #73649
    Bina
    Participant

    Hello, I’m still not sure how to use this site. I have learned so much just reading comments. Gracie I understand how you feel, I’m also going through something very similar. And the feeling of abandonment has come to the surface. My English is not always the best, I grew up in Germany. I understand about not communicating with someone that you care about. Learning to let go in stages, will free you, so can and move on. You are going through the stages of grieving, which are needed. This has been part of a learning experience for you, learning to take care of yourself, and you deserve more than just crumps. Warm greetings, a fellow traveler.

    September 28, 2014 at 5:46 pm #65711
    Bina
    Participant

    Hello, I understand how you feel. I’m going through the same at this time. I applied the 60 day no contact and decided to work on some of my issues when it comes to relationships. I’m 62 when it comes to dating I feel like I’m 16. Most of our contact went to e-mailing, red flag. Can’t believe I actually put up with that. Deep inside we want to feel loved. Be patient with yourself, just do little things to help you move on. If you like walking, play some music, nothing that reminds you of him. Feel your feelings, and they eventually start hurting less. Ask yourself what lesson you learned, that will help you to have a better relationship the next time. Don’t settle for less, you deserve better.

    September 20, 2014 at 3:15 pm #65286
    Bina
    Participant

    I have been were you are twice. The second time about 6 years ago. You will get through this, have patient with yourself. Do things slow, everything will fall into place in time. You will look back and realize that your breakdown was necessary to help you recover. I was told from a Therapist, is like having a tooth that has been aching. The decay has been removed and a new filling been placed. I hope this will help. Be gentle and kind with yourself.

    September 17, 2014 at 1:56 pm #65092
    Bina
    Participant

    Hello Sur, I will follow your advise about no contact. I realize I have to work on myself, I get so involved in the other person, I get blind sided.

    September 17, 2014 at 1:39 pm #65091
    Bina
    Participant

    Hello, I’m new to this forum. Not sure how it works. I’m also dealing with a breakup, and embarrassed about my old behavior. I to have to have no contact and look at myself and make some changes. There are certain things my ex did, but I still blame it all on myself.

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)