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Does he love me or not?

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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
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  • March 3, 2015 at 8:57 pm #73487
    Gracie
    Participant

    I met this good guy and after 2 days of meeting we started dating.I liked him because of his happy disposition and he’s very sociable which is very opposite of me. I didn’t know that he had just broken up with his gf of 7 yrs because she cheated on him. It’s been 3 months since they broke up when we started dating. I didn’t know if it was a good decision that I said yes to him. He was so persistent in phone calls, starting saying ‘i love you’ many times. He was so sweet and caring at first. He would text me and call me every now and then. But now we’ve been together for 7 months and it’s starting to change. He rarely calls and txts me. I know he’s busy but when we spent time together he was always on his phone. We are currently in a long distance relationship. He spent Christmas with me and stayed in our house twice for weeks. So we got the chance to be together for long. ️I don’t know what to feel. He always got the time to chat with his friends and comment on pics on facebook but he barely give time to chat with me. ️I don’t know if I bore him that he doesn’t chat with me. I send him messages but I was ‘seen-zoned’. I just don’t know what to feel. I’m always excited to get a msg from him but he doesn’t seem to feel the same. Everytime I try to start a conversation he doesn’t seem to engage on it. It’s like I’m talking to a wall. He’s so different in person and different persona online or when we’re not together. I don’t know what to feel and think. I’m having this dreams that he’s going to leave me or he was going to leave me for another woman. Sometimes dreaming about me cheating on him but I’m very loyal in real life. It makes me anxious. I know he’s faithful but I’m starting to doubt his love for me. I don’t wanna demand or nag about how he doesn’t make time for me. I just don’t know how this relationship will survive anymore without communication on his part. What do I need to do?

    March 3, 2015 at 9:23 pm #73488
    Gracie
    Participant

    He would always kiss me in person and tell me he loves me. He already told me he’s not a sweet person. I would send him love and thank u messages but he doesn’t reply. I waited for him to greet me on valentines but he didn’t. I waited again on our monthsary but I didnt get anything. I don’t need flowers or chocolates. I just want him to remember the important days in our lives. I stopped giving effort I feel like it’s not appreciated anyways. We still haven’t talked for 3 weeks now although we didn’t fight.

    March 4, 2015 at 3:23 am #73507
    Will
    Participant

    He may say he loves you, and he may think he loves you, but if he’s not interested in talking to you, what does that love mean?

    If I hadn’t talked to someone in three weeks, unless it was because he was undercover in North Korea or something, I wouldn’t call that person my boyfriend. Why are you sitting around waiting for him to pay you a scrap of attention?

    Sometimes relationships end not with a big fight or infidelity, but just because there’s been no effort to maintain it. If he can’t be bothered to text you on valentines, he doesn’t care enough to be worth staying in a relationship with. Go find someone who actually cares about you and appreciates you.

    All my love to you.

    March 4, 2015 at 4:14 am #73510
    Gracie
    Participant

    I want to give us a chance to work this out by telling him what I feel. We already talked about getting married. He’s going to work abroad as a seaman next month or sooner so we won’t see each other for 9 months. I’m just worried if I don’t speak up this will continue and I won’t be able to handle the sadness and break-up with him because of his lack of communication and time with me. I really want this to work out.

    March 5, 2015 at 3:05 am #73562
    Will
    Participant

    Okay, you should definitely tell him how you feel. But if this is how much he gets in touch while you’re in the same country, how much is he going to talk to you when he’s abroad for 9 months?

    I know you really want it to work out, and that’s natural, because you clearly love him. But don’t tell yourself you won’t be able to handle the sadness of a break-up. Break-ups are tough, and it will be sad, but most people handle them fine given a bit of time and perspective.

    The alternative is to continue waiting and hoping and begging for him to just talk to you when he clearly doesn’t have time for you. I think that’s going to be much more painful in the long run. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have time for you, when you could be in a relationship with someone who actually loves and supports you?

    March 5, 2015 at 3:14 am #73564
    Gracie
    Participant

    I messaged him last night. Next morning I woke up but didn’t get a reply. He obviously ignored my messages because he bothered to change his profile pic but didn’t reply. I got so hurt. I messaged him finally breaking up with him but still didn’t get anything back. I was crying all day. How could he do this to me. I treated him right. I respect him. I deserve to be treated right back. If you don’t want me anymore atleast have the decency to tell me straight up. I deserve it.

    March 5, 2015 at 3:20 am #73565
    Gracie
    Participant

    There’s nothing more painful than being abandoned by someone u love without saying anything. He didn’t care about what I would feel. I feel like crap. But I have to be strong for myself and family. I feel shattered.

    March 5, 2015 at 3:28 am #73567
    Will
    Participant

    Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. You’re right, you do deserve to be treated right. It’s perfectly natural to feel like crap, and if there’s anything you can do to give yourself a little time off to feel like crap, even if it’s just going for a walk in the country for an hour, or having a bath, or taking a break from your normal responsibilities for a few days, that could be really worth doing. It’s OK to take time to take care of yourself when someone cracks your emotional shell.

    There are many ways to be strong. Let your pain flow through you. It will run out, believe me.

    Hope and patience to you.

    March 5, 2015 at 4:10 am #73569
    Gracie
    Participant

    Thank you, Will. I feel alot better now after talking to my family and some friends. Everytime I feel pain, I just let myself cry and when I don’t feel like crying anymore, I listen to songs that motivate me. I want to let myself feel the pain and give myself time to mourn. I think that’s healthier right? 🙂

    March 6, 2015 at 2:19 am #73627
    Will
    Participant

    Right! 😀 I think you’re doing well with this.

    You’re going to be ok. All my best wishes.

    March 6, 2015 at 10:51 pm #73649
    Bina
    Participant

    Hello, I’m still not sure how to use this site. I have learned so much just reading comments. Gracie I understand how you feel, I’m also going through something very similar. And the feeling of abandonment has come to the surface. My English is not always the best, I grew up in Germany. I understand about not communicating with someone that you care about. Learning to let go in stages, will free you, so can and move on. You are going through the stages of grieving, which are needed. This has been part of a learning experience for you, learning to take care of yourself, and you deserve more than just crumps. Warm greetings, a fellow traveler.

    March 7, 2015 at 9:05 pm #73671
    Gracie
    Participant

    I have abandonment issues. Since I was a kid and growing up. I can’t imagine the fear of being left behind over and over again. I think it’s my biggest fear in life. I was always the one being dumped, left behind without reason by the two guys I had relationships with. But I’m thankful and learned alot from it. Like the person from this forum said I am worthy enough. I don’t need a man to complete me. To believe and love myself first. And be there for myself when everyone is gone. I found strength. I didn’t think I can be this strong. After this, I’m just going to devote time for myself and take a break from any romantic relationships. I want to be in a happy and loving relationship with myself. And in God’s time when the right man comes along everything will fall into place. Thank u for the kind words, Bina. God bless ❤️

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